severely

Assalammualaikum

EMPTY

There are times at life that I feel like.... 

zombie....

Its like you live just for the sake of that you are breathing and you need

to stay that way....

Im NOT happy.

It feels like hatred and at the same time I just feel like.

Hey,whatever I don't care.When deep inside I know I care.

I am a rebel.

But what they don't know is....

Or maybe they know is..

Even if I have that stubborn side of me reveals..

That if I love you,if you are the one I love...

I will always do it,even if at first I will say stuff....I will drag my feet 

even if I don't like to do it.

I don't wanna complain,as I know hey my life is much much better than

others who is really lacking....

Its not that.But I really feel empty.

And at moment feels like regretting.Headache.Heartache.Hatred.

You know its like,in life not everything happen like we expected right?

But still its so hard to develop that positive attitude and I feel like FAKING.(Sigh!)

And I really cannot stand with people that annoyed me even if  its not purposely.

I try to endure.I keep it inside sometimes but seriously its bother me.

You know, I am really not the type of people that will just hate people.

For me its like uncool.But when I really hates,its drive me crazzzy,because

its hurt me because I know I am not that type of person.

And....Will you be hurt if lets say someone really close to you.

Really close to you.

Got the attention of this some crowd that you really want to impress.

But after all you are just a loser.

What a feeling right?

And the other one is when you like okey I want to move on.

Im okey,Im cool.But then bang!!!!

Why my face is pale when....

 I wish I can return to the very beginning of my journey of life.So that I won't make

same mistakes.So that I can be that bubbly and happy go lucky fat girl.

The one that just don't really care.

The one that just enjoy the ride.

I am just not happy.

I don't need all the fancy things.

But I guess all that would attract somebody right?

So its like what should I do?

So sad.ihik.

I am just wasting my time for a moment.

I feel like its right that I am surrounded by all the black spirit.

I mean aura.

Seriously headache.

There was once in my life I though every people in this world

is a good person,even when some people around me always says

that for example:

You don't know that fella.

OR

You are so naive to believe such things. 

but I guess seriously even though I don't want to think like that.

Yess there are people who is actually devil.

Its like if killing is not a fault,you will kill those people.

Or maybe as long as they are out of your sight its like the bets thing that happen.

Cruel right?But its really honesty.

I am 20 and at the time being.

I just lost my interest on everything.

What a life.

Gain some faith.

p/s: Insyaallah I will find my way.Amin.