Sunday, May 24, 2015

Fix yourself.


5 years ago, a person told me to fix myself. I thought that there was nothing wrong with me.
But maybe.
Today I've admitted.
I was dreaming to be with a prince, when I was nothing.Well im still yet nothing.
But back then, it was sincere despite all the sh*it.
nowadays people see my smile.maybe thinking she is doing well.
the truth is i feel like dying.

as i cannot say im not okay.
fake friends who stab you when you tried to give everything for them.
ex boyfriends who were abusive.
what's more?

God,forgive me for complaining.

the truth are right, im just a loser,loner.
Loser, loner
A coward who pretends to be tough
A mean delinquent

A loner, a jackass covered in scars
Dirty trash
Honestly, I’ve never fit in with the world
I was always alone
It’s been a long time since I’ve forgotten about love
I can’t listen to hopeful love songs anymore
You and me both
We’re just sad clowns, tamed and scripted
I’ve come too far
I wanna go back
To when I was young
At some point
I started looking at the ground more than the sky
It’s hard even to breathe
I hold out my hand
But no one holds it
It’s a cycle of boys and mistakes
Love them for one night
And hate them when morning comes
Can’t own up to it
Because of my selfish pleasure
Everything is being ruined
Can’t stop this dangerous full speed run
Now I have no interest, no fun anymore
I’m standing alone at the edge of a cliff
I’m going home
I wanna go back
To how it was before
At some point
I’ve gotten scared of people’s eyes
I’m sick of crying so I tried smiling
But no one recognizes me
so you dont need to try to shove on my face.I know, im not worth it.Im just tired.I never
Feel more empty.

Sunday, February 15, 2015


it's been a while.
oh well i miss my smile.

Look.You probably will read this right?
or not? well whatever Im still going to write it.
Im not that plain stupid.

Im not blind either, just in case if you thought I am.
I am 23.
And I dont have the time to play games.
And well.
You just dont get over her yet kan?

I know.
No matter what.
You going to say.
I know.

It's just.

For trying too much for someone's who doesn't bother at all.
because I thought.
you care.

well sorry.
I hope so much for someone.
who still stuck at his past.


is it even hurt when you said.
you feel like dying.
when i talk about him?

or it was just another lie.
you know better.

and well.
if what i wrote.
is bullshit.
then maybe.
im just pretty lame blind.

the funniest thing.
is you made me feel like im completely nothing.
real talk.

i ain't nothing pon.
and i always know.
not pretty shit.
sucks relationshit with most of people.
blacksheep of the troops most of the time.
but well.

are you still trying to make me feel unwanted though?
i already know.
that i can't compare to anyone.
oh she?
truth is.
i look at her frequently.
damn shit.
she is perfect kan?
even with all the shits.
and me?

i never like myself pon.
im lacking in anything and any way.
but maybe.
maybe i just wanna trust.
that even with my lacking.
you wont.
push it too much.
to the point when i feel like.
i wish i can be.
you gonna miss.

it's just.
if im your girl.
they why makes other people.
taking care more than you?
i miss u.

and well.
to you that read this.
that probably know nothing at all.
oh please, dont assume things honey.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Stay grand, Just Yet,

Its's been a while?

The weight
of a simple human emotion
weighs me down
more than the tank ever did

The pain
it's determined and demanding
to ache, but I'm okay . . .

And I don't want to let this go
I don't want to lose control
I just want to see the stars with you

And I don't wanna say goodbye
someone tell me why

I just want to see the stars with you

You lost, a part of your existence
in the war, against yourself
oh, the lights,

they light up in lights of sadness
telling you, it's time to go

And I don't want to let this go
I don't want to lose control

Don't give it up just yet stay grand
for one more minute, don't give it up
just yet stay grand(no)

Don't give it up just yet stay grand
for one more minute, don't give it up

just yet stay grand.

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