Tuesday, April 30, 2013



To tell you the truth, I think every people in this life will experience a state where they will break down, and being stab and feel like they can’t stand up because it hurts so much that you die literally.  Yes,it happens to me too, when you feel so insecure that actually who is the people you can trust? Do you know that I have a major trust issue?  Now you know.
I used to be friend with everyone. No matter what is your background I will be your friend.  I guess the title to be my friend was CHEAP back then.  After much struggles and multiple betrayal I tell you, do you know what is living with this numb feelings?  It’s like you are used to it so you don’t really care whereas actually you just cut deeper.  Once back then, I never understand why the heck this is happen to me? Or What I did that I deserve so much pain? Then, after a while I got my answer.
Maybe I was not good enough,eh I am not good enough. I did things to people without I acknowledge I Or maybe I acknowledge it but I was too ignorance to even admit it.  This is part of life where Allah wants to teach me to handle things better so that I become stronger to face the world.  Furthermore Allah will never give you any kind of obstacle that you cannot handle even when you think you can’t handle it. As He know better than you do,so have faith even a little bit,it will help you.  I used to think the pain will eventually kill me,its like so much that you can’t just adapt it, but then I hold to this things “As long as I am breathing, there will be tomorrow and a second chances to make my world a better world”. Okay actually I change the phrase a bit,but the meaning is the same  And I also remind myself, that things are worst to everyone else, your world will not end yet until you stop breathing.  I really hate DEFAMATION out of everything,its like people is spreading nonsense rumors that sometimes the worst condition is when you are the last person who know about it and everyone else starts to stare at you with those weird gaze and you feel like ,did I kill anyone? T.T
Thus, I just want to let you know that is not easy to be and own the title FRIEND, and to those that takes it for granted, you seriously should visit a counselor more maybe?  I hate the fact that people nowadays is taken the value of friendship very cheaply, like well hello friends are not the one that you search for when you need them and throw or ignore them when they have no use.  And friends also not the one you should take advantage of in any condition.  You might as well say that, well that is why there will be bestfriend.Lol. Let me tell you,if you are not good you will never have any bestfriend.  Not even a single one.Try to be the right friend first then you can state the word bestfriend. I used to think that everyone is my friend even we are not close,well blame me for my innocence.  I don’t think like that now, I think people that we meet but don’t have the effort to maintain something or don’t have any interest to be with us, should be more like someone that we just bump to, or a special case stranger 
So appreciate your FRIENDS 


Tuesday, April 23, 2013


Sorry its been a while,but here for you :)
Do some wise thinking,don't assume.I think this is sweet.
Read this beautiful things and enjoice,and just so you know
Chan Kid tueng ter mark mark (Thai)

The same sky like always, the same ordinary day
The only difference is that you're not here
I want to smile, pretending to have forgotten everything
Pretending it's nothing
I want to live smiling

Because I miss you,
Everyday I keep calling you alone

Because I miss you
Now I keep calling your name like a habit
Again today

I thought I sent you away without any regrets
No, no, I couldn't send you away yet

Because I miss you, because I miss you
Everyday I keep calling you alone

It seems like I'm going to die, what should I do?

I love you, I love you, I love you
Without even saying those words, I sent you away like this

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, do you hear me
Can you hear my late confession?
I love you

Thursday, April 4, 2013

A glimpse of Final Decision.

Assalammualaikum ^.^
So actually I suppose to be tense and super stress.But instead I spend my time
watching Running man,daebak!

Okay,I have been wondering.and wondering and wondering.
and to tell you the truth I am on the urge to do things
I always find its hard to do.
But now,I made up my mind finally  :)
So randomly I just wanna state a few things.
that is important to me but maybe is nothing to you.
First,I only have one best boy friend that is living in Thailand.
okay if u are talking about thailand,I have to added one sunshine.
But she is a girl.
so I love Thailand.
Im a less than a quarter thai.something like that.And am 
indonesian too,a proud one.
and second.let me clarify a few things,which I think,I need to
broaden my mind and not be stuck and influence by
things or people around me.
whoever Im in love with,respect it.
Does not matter the age,the races,and also the religion :)
time will figure things out.
and am not saying that,religion is not important.
u are matured enough to understand it,am i suppose to explain ?
okay the third things is faith.
faith on people around me that effortlessly  making
effort to stay.Im tired.Im this kind of affectionate person.
but there is time I feel like,if you dont make an effort
to be around me,then watch me gone in ur life.
and noted,im not that kind that easily walk away.
and well hello,im not talking about my significant others or what,
friendship yaw.

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