ther moitié

Assalammualaikum.
So well.I've been spending times.
A lot to figure out how.and bla bla.
I know it's not today.
But this is just in case.
Just in case I can't go and celebrate with you.
You have to know.
That I remember!
22 years ago
on third January 1992.
You were born.
And I am THANKFUL!

Well.

Im not a good writer.Neither am a good talker.

Well.

We've been through thick and thin.

Well.

We've been through storms and tsunami.

But.

Doesn't mean we don't have those.

Cute and maybe annoying moments.

Well.

Maybe I don't usually talk about this.

Because we are more to tumbuk and lempang.

I am never that kind of girly.

Yes maybe I wear skirts.

But to be gedik.Urgh.

Geli.Sometimes I feel like Im more to boyish than a girl.

Well I wanna be manja but I feel like.

We are more to sepak dan terajang.

Though I am quite jahat.

To lempang or sepak you often.

Doesn't mean I love you any less.

Well maybe we are different.

But well.

Who cares kan,gemok?

You have been a good brother and a friend to me.

Well I often write about my goood goood people here.

Now Im sharing our craziness here.Wakakak.

I guess,we are much better than the poyoness.

I guess it's much better to arguing with you.

And I really appreciate that God let me meet you.

Rather than that person you know who.

At least I feel much secure and can scream my lungs out.
Thanks for being there for me.
Through thick and thin.
Through sad and happy times.
Through tears and happiness.
Thank you for coping with my tantrums.
I was just kidding when I said you can't cope.
Because I know you are doing well.
Much better than other people.
And not quitting on me.
When I throw my tantrums.
Lending me your ears through phone.
Ha Ha Ha.
Even when you hate so much talking trough the phone.
Accompany me eating whenever, wherever I want to go.
 Forgive me when I did wrong.
Ha ha ha.

So stay with me forever,okay?

Just in case.

Im not there.

Just remember.

I remember.

Ha ha Ha.

Happy 22 Babe.

Bring Me The Night

Assalammualaikum

 

Measuring days in the spaces between our goodbyes
Learning to wait through the endless parade
Of our same old see-you-next-time's
But when I close my eyes the miles melt away
Like you're here in my arms at the end of the day

So bring me the night, send out the stars
'Cause when I'm dreaming we don't seem so far
Darken the sky and light up the moon
So that somehow you'll be here with me soon
Bring me the night
That brings me to you
You

Swear I don't know if the days are as slow as they seem
Wondering when you'll be with me again and this
Finally can be more than just a dream
But when I close my eyes I want only to stay
Where the farthest you are is a heartbeat away

So bring me the night, send out the stars
'Cause when I'm dreaming we don't seem so far
Darken the sky and light up the moon
So that somehow you'll be here with me soon
Bring me the night
That brings me to you

And it's enough knowing you...
(I know that you're) are calling to me
While you're dreaming beneath the same moon
All it takes is imagining you
So that I can get through
One more long and lonely day

So bring me the night, tell me it's near
Give me the chance to pretend that you're here
Darken the sky and light up the moon
Please bring it soon, bring it soon

Bring me the night,
That brings me to you 

Pillow Talk.

Sometimes.

You feel lost.

You have the answer.

But you can't say it out loud.

Sometimes.

When you feel like things are finally okay.

Bang.

Things happen.

And you wonder.

How many times.

You have to fake.

That you are okay.

When all you feel.

Is damage.

Broken.

Literally all the insane things that lead you to the path

of destructive.

And they said.

Be strong.

Im just TIRED.

Mungkin.

Trials take us deeper with Allah.

Jadilah manusia yang tahu bersyukur.

walau rasa tertikam-tikam.

Senyumlah.

Mungkin aku tak sempurna.

Memang tidak.

Mungkin kurang aku banyak.

Mungkin cela aku tak terbendung lagi.

Mungkin hitam hatiku pekat.

Mungkin aku ini hina.

Mungkin sekali terlalu jahil.

Aku cuma mahu bermula semula.

Aku pendosa.

Itu aku tahu.

Aku mungkin nampak okay.

Tapi Tuhan tahu.

Aku bagaimana.

Mungkin zahir nampak kuat.

Tapi siapa tahu,kalau aku retak bak kaca berderai.

Aku mungkin senyum.

Aku mungkin marah.

Aku mungkin menyusahkan.

Bagilah aku masa.

Aku masih banyak perlu berlajar.

Aku ini ingin bangkit.

Aku sudah jatuh.

Kalau perlu.

Aku mungkin akan mengesot.

Aku hanya ingin kuat.

Cari semula.

Kekuatan yg sudah hilang.

Aku mungkin dah terlalu penat.

Tapi aku Islam.

Mana mungkin boleh bicara begitu.

Baru diterjah musuh.

Mahu mengalah?

Aku Islam.

Agama memerlukan aku.

Aku ini mungkin lompang.

Mungkin juga manis berbicara.

Mungkin aku dibilang angan-angan tin kosong.

Aku sedang berusaha.

Aku akan silap.

Kadang terselingkuh.

Bantu aku.

Bantu aku tegak kembali.

Aku ini rapuh.

Kadang terasa sudah ranap.

Entah.

Kadang rasa kosong.

Kadang rasa serabut.

Tapi Tuhan.

Kau ada.

Mungkin aku terleka.

Tapi aku tahu.

Kau seru.

Aku kembali.

Mungkin kadang aku ini bingung.

Mungkin juga.

Kadang aku ini dungu.

Alhamdullilah.

Tuhan.

Kau tak pernah putus asa.

Cinta.

Cinta ini untuk kau Tuhan.

Matikan aku.

Dalam Islam.

Dengan lafaz 

"Aku bersaksi tiada Tuhan selain Allah,

dan Nabi Muhammad itu pensuruh Allah."

Bertahan.

Assalammualaikum.

 

Untukmu aku akan bertahan
Dalamg gelap takkan kutinggalkan

 Beranilah dan percaya
Semua ini pasti berlalu
Meski takkan mudah
Namun kau takkan sendiri
aKu ada disini

bertahanlah.

sikit.

banyak.

bertahanlah.

Ku bersujud padamu,

berdoa pada yang satu,

Padamu aku mengadu,

Allah yang satu,

Mohon petunjuk darimu,

berderai air mataku,

Ku ingin dekat denganmu.

Andainya kubisa hidup seribu tahun lama lagi,
Ku kota kata kata yang telah ku janji,
Andainya ditakdirkan esok aku pergi,
Susun sepuluh jari memohon diampuni,
Janganlah bersedih berduka,
Berjumpa disana semula,
Kembali kepada pencipta,
Diruang yang luas terbuka,
Pintu syurga dan neraka,
Bertapa kau bersedih berduka dijiwa gelora didalam dilema menanggung derita

Untukmu aku akan bertahan Dalam gelap takkan kutinggalkan

dari: http://iniliriklagunya.blogspot.com/2013/02/lirik-lagu-afgan-untukmu-aku-bertahan.html#.UokSsOJvX1E
salam kenal ya :)

Untukmu aku akan bertahan Dalam gelap takkan kutinggalkan

dari: http://iniliriklagunya.blogspot.com/2013/02/lirik-lagu-afgan-untukmu-aku-bertahan.html#.UokSsOJvX1E
salam kenal ya :)

Untukmu aku akan bertahan Dalam gelap takkan kutinggalkan

dari: http://iniliriklagunya.blogspot.com/2013/02/lirik-lagu-afgan-untukmu-aku-bertahan.html#.UokSsOJvX1E
salam kenal ya :)

Pengakuan #1 :Jauh

  

Assalammualaikum.

Aku.Loseer.Bila.Mahu.

Ekpreskan.Perasaan.

Aku marah.

Pada hal.

Aku sayang.

Aku kata benci.

Bila tidak.

Loser.Kau faham tak?

kau sempurna.

kau sempurna.

with all the flaws combine together.

kau tetap sempurna.

Entah harus berapa lama lagi
Rasa ini kupendam sendiri
Rasa cintaku pada dirimu

Entah harus berapa lagu lagi
Yang kutulis agar kau mengerti
Rasa cinta di hati ini
Yang tumbuh hanya untuk dirimu

Kau jauh… 
Mengapa t’rasa begitu jauh
Padahal kau ada di depanku?
Tersenyum kepadaku
Tapi tetap terasa jauh.

Setiap kali kutatap dirimu
Kau buat ku sadar akan sesuatu
Kalau bayang diri ini
Tak pernah ada di kedua matamu

Ku mencoba..
Selalu kumencoba…
Tapi semuanya sia-sia…

Kau terasa begitu jauh
Padahal kau ada didepanku
Tersenyum kepadaku
Tapi tetap terasa jauh

 serious jiwang.

ha ha ha.

tapi aku serious.

ye lah.

segan jadi jiwang.

tapi entahlah.

aku ni poyo dah.

sangat.

tapi kau tahu.

kau tak perlu nak over sea bagai.

sebab bila kau berusaha.

dh cukup baik.

kau tak perlu nak k-pop bagai.

aku okay je.

kau tahu kan?

Lirik Lagu Afgan - Jauh Entah harus berapa lama lagi Rasa ini ku pendam sendiri Rasa cintaku pada dirimu Entah harus berapa lagu Yang ku tulis agar kau mengerti Rasa cinta dihati ini Yang tumbuh hanya untuk dirimu Kau jauh Mengapa t’rasa begitu jauh Padahal kau ada di depanku Tapi tetap terasa jauh Setiap kali ku tatap dirimu Kau buat ku sadar akan sesuatu Kalau bayang diri ini Tak pernah ada di kedua matamu Kau jauh Mengapa t’rasa begitu jauh Padahal kau ada di depanku Tapi tetap terasa jauh Ku mencoba Selalu ku mencoba Tetapi semuanya sia-sia Kau jauh Kau terasa begitu jauh Padahal kau ada di depanku Tersenyum kepadaku Tapi tetap terasa jauh Kau jauh Mengapa t’rasa begitu jauh Padahal kau ada di depanku Tersenyum kepadaku Tapi tetap terasa jauh

dari: http://iniliriklagunya.blogspot.com/2013/02/lirik-lagu-afgan-jauh.html#.UohjeuJvX1E
salam kenal ya :)

Entah harus berapa lama lagi Rasa ini ku pendam sendiri Rasa cintaku pada dirimu Entah harus berapa lagu Yang ku tulis agar kau mengerti Rasa cinta dihati ini Yang tumbuh hanya untuk dirimu Kau jauh Mengapa t’rasa begitu jauh Padahal kau ada di depanku Tapi tetap terasa jauh Setiap kali ku tatap dirimu Kau buat ku sadar akan sesuatu Kalau bayang diri ini Tak pernah ada di kedua matamu Kau jauh Mengapa t’rasa begitu jauh Padahal kau ada di depanku Tapi tetap terasa jauh Ku mencoba Selalu ku mencoba Tetapi semuanya sia-sia Kau jauh Kau terasa begitu jauh Padahal kau ada di depanku Tersenyum kepadaku Tapi tetap terasa jauh Kau jauh Mengapa t’rasa begitu jauh Padahal kau ada di depanku Tersenyum kepadaku Tapi tetap terasa jauh

dari: http://iniliriklagunya.blogspot.com/2013/02/lirik-lagu-afgan-jauh.html#.UohjeuJvX1E
salam kenal ya :)

Manifesto.

Manifesto luput bila nafas henti hela.

"Arjuna"

"Arjuna"

what if i tell you i miss you like hell?

 

I wish i was the type of girl that made YOU say "wow"

I don't care if others stare at me.

But if it's you.

It's enough.

 I often wonder if you ever miss talking to me?

 I want to write "i miss you" on a piece of rock and throw it in your face

 just to make you realize how much missing you hurts.

 sometimes i'm just so sick of my limited vocabulary

 because i could never find enough words to describe

 the feelings i felt

 I was just so used to having you around 

that it caught me off guard when all that changed.

and it drove me wild to see your smile that amazing 

thousand-watt smile that could possibly lit up the whole of new york .

 I wish i could read your mind to know what

 your really think of me to see if i'm even inside your mind.

 i wish you could hear all the words i'm afraid to say.

 it's like i want you to look at me but then

 i turn my head every time you do 

do you see my dilemma?

Ranap.

Assalammualaikum.

Semua sudah ranap.okay tipu.

mana ada.

mungkin 3/4 je.

Tapi Alhamdullilah.

Tuhan ada.

Aku redha.

Aku mungkin paling rapuh pada awalnya.

Tapi Alhamdullilah.Syukur.

Ada Tuhan.Sentiasa ada.

Persetankan saja kemunafikkan yang entah apa2.

Aku mungkin telah berlaku kejam dulu.

Maka Tuhan ajari aku dengan cara ini.

Aku mungkin nampak lemah.

Mungkin aku kadang menangis.

Merengek.

Tapi hati aku kental.

Kadang mungkin aku terlalu memerlukan.

Terlalu menjelekkan.

Terlalu sensitif malah terlalu bengong ikut masanya.

Tapi  tak mengapalah.

Maaflah kerana aku ini tidak pernah atau akan sempurna.

Kalau sempurna yang dicari.

Sempurna itu bukan aku.

Aku punya cacat cela.

Cela yang mungkin akan buat kau benci.

Orang fikir aku sempurna.(perasan!har har)

Tapi tak dan mmg tak akan. 

dalam ini.

aku sudah lama ranap.

Tapi syukur.

Alhamdullilah.

Alhamdullilah.

Aku masih ada satu dua mungkin tiga sepuluh atau seratus.

mereka yang benar2 sayang aku.

Aku mungkin rasa ranap seranap ranapnya.

tapi masih ada 1/4 lagi kekuatan diri.

Aku boleh chill.

Aku boleh relax.Luaran itu kan disguise.

Aku mungkin perlakon yang paling hampeh.

aku ni susah nak fake.

muka ni mcm tahu tahu aje mencermin kan hati.

aku ni perlakon paling hancuq.

tapi tak apalah.

alang2 boleh asah bakat.

bakat aku yang aku sendiri tak tahu apa.

Blacksheep was my name.

Well how about change it to white.

As white as kain putih.

mmg tak boleh menapak kebelakang.

What happens ,happened.

usia entah berapa saja yg masih ada.

tempoh makin berkurang.

dosa entah mungkin setinggi menara KLCC.

Aku sudah bosan.

Bosan dgn nafsu duniawi.

Nafsu serakah yang boleh buat aku mati di lorong gelap.

 Allahu ya hafizu nafsi wa ruhi
(Ya Allah,peliharalah diriku dan ruhku),
bismillahi Jibril
(Dengan nama Allah,Jibril),
fi yamini
(pada kananku),
bismillahi mikail
(Dengan nama Allah,Mikail),
fi shimali
(pada kiriku),
bismillahi israfil
(Dengan nama Allah,Israfil),
fi amami (pada hadapanku),
bismillahi izrail
(Dengan nama Allah,Izrail)

Aku dah sejuta kali hadap itu dan ini.

So selagi Tuhan kata hidup.Aku hidup.

Aku maafkan.

Tak apalah.Nabi pun maafkan umatnya.

Aku ni sekecik kuman je pon.

 Aku percaya Tuhan dah tentukan Jalan yang terbaik buat aku.

satu prinsip.

what you give you get back.

Tak cepat.tak lambat.

saat itu bila tersungkur jatuh tergolek.

jgn pernah menangis,

sebab aku tahu.

mcm mana rasa itu.

sbb aku dah telan pahit itu.

awal.awal.awal.

dan Tuhan tak pernah menguji hambaNya lebih dari kemampuan.

Chillex. And say Alahmdullilah.Syukur.

:')

Tinta Pendosa.

Assalammualaikum.

Yang Sebenarnya

Mungkin.

Tiba tiba.Aku tersedar.Tersentak.

dari lenaku yg lama.

Mungkin aku terlampau alpa.

Mungkin dendam itu masih tersisa.

Mungkin sebab sakit itu masih ada.

Mungkin sebab bisikkan halus yang sentiasa berusaha melalaikan.

Aku manusia biasa.

Mungkin.Aku tersasar dari sebuah erti kemaafan yg sebenar.

Mungkin.Aku lupa.

Aku juga pernah menyakiti.

Jadi bila disakiti aku tidak terbiasa.

Mungkin aku terlalu bendul.

Mungkin juga aku terlalu hitam sampai putih itu kelihatan kelam.

Aku tahu Tuhan,Kau rindukan aku.

Terima Kasih.

Sebab tak sesaat pun.

Kau putus asa dgn aku.

Aku hambaMu yang Hina.

Jangan pernah berpaling daripadaku.

Aku sedang bertatih.

Kalau tak berlari.

Aku merangkak.

Sungguh.Cinta itu untukMu.

Maaf andai aku tak sempurna.Memang tidak pernah.

Kerana sempurna itu.

Hanya Kau,Tuhanku.

Peliharalah aku.

Tuhan.

Terimalah sujudku.

sujud pendosa.

Magic.

Assalammualaikum.

 

You've got magic inside your finger tips
It's leaking out all over my skin
Everytime that I get close to you
Your makin me weak with the way you
Look through those eyes

And all I see is your face

Confession 1:"Melt The Snow"

Assalammualaikum.

 

You see love at first is summer time
That's when you think that everything's fine
No one ever thinks its gonna end
But when things go wrong and winter comes
You're gonna need to run to someone
Left alone you'll just freeze up again
But you should know
When it gets too cold
You're not alone
I'll melt the snow

I'll ignore every one of them because I only want you.

 

KITA

Assalammualaikum.

 Entah.Bila tengok Kak Fynn and Abg Tri.

Mostly Abg Tri,it really remind me of you.

Mungkin misai.And part jambang.

Oh have I told you,actually I suka kot laki yg ada misai.HAHAHAH.

I've been waiting all these years.

Bam!

Tak sangka pon.Tapi tunggulah 28 nak ada jambang banyak2 tu.

Hahahahha.

Tak kisahlah botak ke.Punk ke.

As long it's you.It's more than enough.

Nanti I sambung entri ni lagi.

Ni tetiba bersemangat nak study.

Nak kena study kuat2.

To be continue.

Other Half.

Assalammualaikum.

Sorry,I've been busy.

Banyak benda terjadi.

Yang hitam dan juga yg putih.

Yang suka dan pahit.

Aku nak menulis,tapi MALAS.

ALASAN.manusia.Biasalah tu.

So sekarang aku nak tulis.Tapi hang jgn kata

aku minah jiwang pulak.

Mungkin aku mmg jiwang pon.Tapi malu.

Okay tak.Okay whatever.

Aku busy ni.Belum study sangat.Ni spend time utk jenguk belog usang.

Sebenarnya aku dh ter fall with a poet.

Well,I know.Some people tengah confuse.Eh?

Tiba2 kan.Kamon,aku tahu.Aku faham.

Aku pulak tak suka berkongsi sangat.So korang lagi tak faham.

Kadang2 yang tak boleh blah is when korang cakap kawan

baik aku yang mmg dh mcm adik atau mcm abang,atau mcm apa.

Is my other half.Adoi!FAIL.

Bila biarkan,orang salah faham.Mcm kelakar.Tengok telatah manusia.

Aku tahu siapa sayang aku.

I mean to be a little bit romatic,saya kenal sayang saya.(Minta pelempang punya ayat!)

Tak adalah kenal sangat,tapi kenal lah juga.

Hahahha.

Well,yang I don't really like to use the term BOYFRIEND.

Tapi kadang2 susahlah bila ada orang yg tok pahe.

Ish.

Just because,gua banyak kawan with le boys.Oh sebab dulu

gua tomboy.Serious talk.So gua suka lepak dgn le boys.

tapi ada je banyak girlfirends. Seimbanglah.Mungkin.

Tapi lu punya pemikiran biar kasi besar sikit.

Just because a girl have a tonnes of boys bestfriends does not mean,

she is A FLIRT.

Because indeed her heart is lock.

For a guy,that only those who matters know.

Tapi ini bukan permasalahannya.

Bak kata my close close friend.

"Tak boleh makan/hidup ke dgn kata2 mereka"

Something like that.

Betul jugak.Well, manusia.Selagi boleh bercakap.Dia menyalak.

What a fool for me to even care.T.T

 Tapi back to the topic.

I kinda mischu a little too much.

So sebenarnya.Aku just nak copy and paste.

Lagu pelengkap hidup ni.

Sebab rasa mcm jiwang le karats le habis.

Aku bagai laut tak bertepi dan tak berkarang 

Aku bagai bintang yang tak ditemani malam 

Melihat dirimu ada senyum canda dan tawa 

Yang membuat aku tak ingin pergi darimu
Teringat janji lamamu kepadaku 

Teringat aku teringat 

Teringat saat kau masih ada di sini

 Temaniku sepanjang hari
Bila kau pergi jauh ingatlah aku

 Bila ku di sampingmu peluk tubuhku

 Bila kau rindu aku panggil namaku 

Ku datang menemuimu
Peluk erat jasadku jangan lepaskan 

Tetaplah kau di sini arungi malam 

Karena hanya dirimu belahan jiwa 

Pelengkapku di dunia

 Aku bukan senang nak jatuh....Cinta.

Susah.

Sebenarnya.

Mungkin kau cakap.

Aku mulut manis.

Tapi kalau kau tahu.

Apa yang jadi. dlm hidup aku

Mungkin.

Kau juga takkan.

Nak jatuh cinta.

Mungkin takkan.

Mungkin benci dgn cinta.

Kau tak tahu.

Apa yg aku rasa.

Kau tak tahu pahitnya.

Tunggu orang 10 tahun.

oh more than that.

KAU tak tahu.

Tapi mmg. 

Skrg aku paham.

Masa is time only.

Kau kenal sepuluh tahun.

atau seminggu.

Yang penting chemistry.

dan komitmen.

Belum tentu lagi.

Yang kau kenal sepuluh tahun tu.

Kau kenal betul2.

Bullshits je semua tu.

Sebab manusia berubah setiap saat.

Percaya ckp aku.

Aku tahu.

AKu dah rasa.

Jadi.

Terpulang.

Sebab.

Bila aku cakap aku cinta.

Aku cinta.

Kalau aku cakap kau.

Maknanya.Kau lah.

Sekarang.Saat ini.Kau aku harap.

Other half aku.

Ni aku nak bg tahu hang ni.

Hang jgn nak confuse.

Memang aku ada hang je ni.

Tamat.

 

Best Boyfriend.

Assalammualaikum!

It's been a while,and because Im freaking weirdly miss my awesome bestfriend which always think

that he is nothing but for me he is a very good person despite how annoying he could turns out.

But hey This is about you.Thanks dude,for coping with my random craziness,I love youh!

Im gonna try my best to describe your awesomeness!

Because indeed you are so freaking awesome.Im not kidding neither saying this sarcastically.

I just need to do this.

To be honest,I am a very complicated person.Im very moody,I have bad temper,and also Im grumpy.
I can laugh and cry within a second.I can be mad and happy within a second.
Maybe that is why Im afraid to be close to anybody.Because Im afraid Im gonna hurt them.
I don't like those feelings.The feelings of hurting people.
So it was a big miracle when the first time I know you.I don't really bother about you.
I mean of course at one point I was curious,but still I feel like whatever.
But then I still remember,it was near on  my birthday.That is when I started to really wanted to know
you a lot better.It was a super risky decisions.
It is not easy to be friend with you.It was freaking hard.Im the most sensitive girl in the world and
you are the most sarcastic guy I ever met.
But Alhamdullilah,through the storms and rains,we finally manage to cope with all that and
support one another now.#Tears.
I never thought or even imagine that one day,we gonna be really good with each other.
I always think that we are seriously really different individual.Therefore we can't connect.
Im dead wrong!Though maybe we are different,but that differences actually connect us together.
From a very fragile girl,you made me to a very strong girl.
From to a super tantrum moody girl,to a girl that can calm herself in a hard situation.
From a girl that cannot accept stupid jokes,to a girl that like to make jokes.
From a girl that hate her flaws,to a girl that cherish her flaws.
Even when you know my dark side,how ruin I can be,how destructive how
unpredictable I can turn out,you still stands there.Never really leave.
When Im down,you lend me your ears.You lend me your time.
When I talk about stupid things,and you still listen.When I wanna cry,but you tried
to make me laugh.
I sayang gila kot kat you.You are like baby brother,my partner in crime,my punching bag,ngahahha,
my guardian angel my bla bla bla.
So my dear honey,you should know that you are a very very dear person to me.
I know you gonna be a freaking good lawyer,because you are!
Please take care of yourself ,I don't want you to be attack by asthma which lead me to
be freaking sad and worried.
To be honest,you are the first guy bestfriend I feel like really close too.
Tenchuu.I can rely on you if people break my heart next time.Hahahah.
 Is it so weird when you adore your bestfriend so much?Ngahahha.
Thank you for crossing my path and please stay forever,because you one of the most
best thing ever encounter in my life.Cewah!

i tak kira,I know how much u benci I buat peace.Lalalalalal.

Heal please.

Im not trying to do any stupid ritual or what,this is just me trying to be focus.

Hasbunallah wani'mal wakil
Ni'mal maula wani'mal nasir
Hasbunallah wani'mal wakil
Ni'mal maula wani'mal nasir

Ku coba renungi semua
Detik waktu yang telah berlalu
Mengisahkan pedih di hati
Menyinar keangkuhan diri

Ku coba sandarkan jiwa
Hanya pada Allah semata
Hingga rasa bebanpun sirna
Seluruh hati serahkan pada-Nya

Cukuplah Allah sebagai penolong
Dan sebaik-baik pelindung

 

Honestly it's like almost two.And I did a BIG mistake by drinking white coffee ,it makes

me feel really ill AND  dizzy.Not even that,I think my gastric is

trying to take over me.So yeah,I also forgot to bring my medicine,so yeah.It's hurt.

Hmmm.So I hope everything's gonna be just foine.

Bye.

DEEP.

Assalammualaikum.

I found this,and I really think that is triple million DEEPER than the deepest ocean on earth.lol.

Please understand mehh.

I fell hard for this the first time I read it again and again.Hamboi,kemain je kan.

Tacing weyh benda alah ni.Grrrr.Ntah mcm mana pulok boleh terdapat.Ngahahha.

Btw,Im going to further my study in a few days.Idk what will happen.And

Idk if the course gonna be much easier,eh mestilah susah.And I dont have the

clue of anything.What I know is,,within these 2 years,I gotta work hard.

Im gonna slap myself if I ever slept in the class.Well ya know,I used to come for the class

only because for the attendance.I can't help but feel freaking sleepy all the time.

No more being stupid like study last minutes.It will be hell if i ever did that again.

Idk if I have to learn mandarin again,well I prefer Thai.Lol.

Im so envy with my cousin because she got the opportunity to learn Thai in UKM.Huwaa!

Tacing forever.Dah ah,takde geng Thailand sangat.Gua cakap khob khun na ka,pon

bukan orang paham.Stress.Ceh.Lol.

and the there is a lot of things I wanna SHARE,but well Im too lazy to even write actually.

Okeng until the next entry,bt Im so sorry.There's a few entries I could not

update.Hahahaha.sorry. 

Settle For Less.

Assalammualaikum.

Im waking up to this.

Everybody deserves somebody,
But girl nobody can love like I do.

You could be a super model,
President or write a novel.
But he’s holding your back
And you’re better than that.
He won’t even buy you flowers,
Stay up late and talk for hours.
I think I can do that
I can be better than that.
You should know…

Everybody deserves somebody,
But girl nobody can love you like I do.
And I’m not perfect but you’re so worth it.
I wanna change the world for you,
So baby don’t settle for less.
You deserve the best,
You’re better than the rest
And I can be the best,
So baby don´t settle for less.

I’ve been watching in front the sidelines
His mistakes become my guidelines.
Cause he’s holding your back
And you’re better than that.
I will love to buy you flowers,
Take the time to talk for hours.
Yeah I can do that.
I can be better than that.
You should know…

 He takes you for granted,
Girl I can’t stand it.
Watching you panic over him.
See he’s just a nobody
I can be somebody,
Someone to love til’ the end.

The question now is who,when how?Lol.

Luckily I have develop this attitude called whatever happen happen.

Is not like I can do much about it.

Kamon,finish your degree in two years with flying colours baby!

You have to drag yourself like hell now.

K merapu.But,I need this spirit.I know I can do this!High fives sikit!

I learn.

Assalammualaikum.

Of course Im insecure.Im scared,Im terrified.But oh well I take a chance,Im living

my life once,so well.Well,Fatih Seferagic is someone husband now.Well

Im looking forward for mine too.Ngahahhahha.Idk,I was in the dark for so long.

Im terrified and am afraid about so many things.Maybe Im a bit

too fragile.Well I can't deny that somehow I am afraid to trust people.Well,my trust was

broken,but well I did a lot of mistakes too.So well,it was a great lesson for me.

I really don't know what is ahead,but Im living for this moment.

Well,I've been pushing everyone away.Because Im too scared.But when I open up the door,it

is usually for the wrong ones.But again,it is okay.This is a trial,until "aku terima nikahnya".

I hate the term boyfriend,hmm I wanna use the term "tulang rusuk".Okay,mushy much!

Maybe sweetheart ?

Though I am 21,but I don't feel like one.I feel like Im still a little kid.Ngahahha.

One thing for sure,I want to be positive at my lowest.Im tired of the negativity and

the gloomy aura.Sometimes I am indeed clueless about few things.

Now,Im used at being weird.In fact I love it.Im weird,why?

Because sometimes my reality is beyond your imagination.Ngahahhahha.

I know somehow out there,there is people that have the same way of thinking as same as mine.

So whatever.

I learn a lot.I learn that,sometimes people gonna lie straight to your face no matter how much

you trust them and they act like,it didn't even matter.Some people,think that you are so strong,

that is why it doesn't even matter if they break you apart again and again as if as it is nothing.Why?

Because they look outside you,they don't even look inside you.If you are way too fragile.

Or maybe your heart is aching like so badly and maybe your hearts is in a coma state.But still,

it is hurt.Even when people claim that they are numb,I don't think it is not hurt.

Of course it still hurt,is just you get to used of those craps thing,so you act better than before.

I learn that,sometimes you have to be strong and stand by yourself but you can't simply push

people that care about you away.Because as much as you are hurting,those whose stay with you

through the storms,are the one who really cares.

I learn that some people can just simple meddling with other people's life or feelings,

and they didn't even bother to say SORRY.

I learn that,you can't simply judge people immediately.Take a time to know them better.

They might surprise you  or maybe you gonna fall for them.

Sometimes,God take something/someone away from your life without you expecting it to happen.

You have to cope with it.I know it is indeed hard,but InsyaAllah,it will benefit you!

Sometimes when you at your lowest,but people still push you around like it is nothing.Maybe

because they don't know what you are feeling inside,take a deep breath and smile.And pray a lot.

Sometimes,in the ocean of millions people you feel so ALONE.Why?

Because your heart is empty.Be closer to him.

Sometimes we judge people too soon,without even looking at our flaws.

I bet if we take a time and look at our flaws,we didn't even have a time to pointed others flaws.

Sometimes,we take things and people for granted.

Well there is a lot going on.The never ending war.Sobs.The corruption,the lies.

Well,insyaAllah you can make this better.

Btw,I know my english kinda crappy,but please let me write in any language.

I currently is passionately learning Thailand.Nghahahah.Khob khun na ka  :)

Btw,I forgot.Happy Eid to all the Muslims!

Im sorry if I ever hurt you okay? :')

Weirdo?

Assalammualaikum!

 Don't ever doubt your awesomeness; remind yourself of who you are. 

Awesomeness is in your DNA. You are naturally awesome. Allow yourself to be natural. Be cool, be you, have fun.

Ngahahahahhah,phrases atas tu mcm memuji diri sendiri!But actually,I just wanna let u know that,dun worry!
Don't worry if you feel like you feel that you kind of a weird person.I always feel like that.
I always feel Im so weird that no one can even be compatible with me.
I often feel like Im gonna be left out.Because sometimes my way of thinking,is indeed
beyond your imagination.Lol.But why?
It is because those imagination,is my hope.Is the reason I stay strong.Through all that,
maybe is one day I work hard enough,it wont be just some silly imagination.
I used to think,being weird is a bad thing.BUT NOW I think it is awesome,and just another
term for ONE OF THE KIND,or Unique.I use my imagination,and thoughts,ideas as a weapon.
Weapon to cherish this life.Without all that,I might just as well be a super weak person.
To be honest,I have a lot of weird wishes.Ngahahha,and one of my weird wishes,is I want to pengsan,faint.
How it would feel when you just pass out.How it will be?Is it painful?
So,Alhamdullilah my wish has been fulfill!.
Let me tell you something,this is not to show off.But I hope you can take this positively.
To tell you the truth.I hate needle!But I always wanna donate my blood.I've been rejected for
like 3 or 4 times,and one of the reason is because,I am under weight.
I was a fat person,and actually I never have those feeling like I look fat or ugly.
Until,a person that I like many2 years ago said that my face is not worth it even a cent,and
I think he sorta called me fat or something.I was like 13 or twelve.I really didn't know
that actually Im ugly.and fat.What I know,is I was happy.
But then,starting from that,I started to be thinner.thinner.and thinner.My teacher asked me back the,
"Are you sick?Because you look  so thin?"
I was actually happy because Im finally am thin,but too bad,I started to get sick.
I got gastric.Maybe you gonna say,alah gastrik je kot kan?
But to tell you the truth,gastric is one the disease that can cause death.
When gastric strike you,then you will know,how freaking painful it is.
PAINFUL SO BADLY!but Im gonna story about it later.
So due to my under weight problem,I can't donate my blood.Actually,there was other problem,
but let it  be a secret.
So,one fine day.I think,it was on my last sem in Uni.I spotted a blood donation campaign or
something.So I was excited!I even eat a lot because I wanna do this.I will not lie,that actually,
Im afraid of the needle!But I really wanna know how it would feel.
And one more thing is,because I know that a lot of people need my blood!
But the problem was,I think Im lacking of sleep.You need at least 5 hours of sleep,ya know!
But I cannot slept the night before,so yeah.Yeah!But I abandon the risk,so I told that maybe
I have more than 5 hours sleep.Because actually I really am not sure okay.Is it less,or more.
so hentam sajalah labu.Ngahahhaha.But I think I really don't sleep well and it is less than 5 hours.ngahhahaha.
And for the first time in my life,I realize that oh Im a type B blood!wehooo!
Ngahahahahahhah.
So after dah derma my blood,I felt sleepy.I was trying to make myself as conscious as possible!
 At first kan,I fel like okay I just felt sleepy,takde ah mcm pening gilos ke apa.Kalau korang
derma darah,nanti dpt makanan free,tapi kan that is not the point okay,tapi Aii dapat nasi ayam.yum yum!
But you know what happen,I didn't realize masa kat meja tu I actually dah pengsan .
So yeah,I was about to eat my nasi ayam,that is when everything is totally blank!
So the feelings of being faint is actually,you will not sedar yg you gonna faint.Maybe pening siikit tu tandanya.atau ngantuk.After pengsan tu,I rasa penat gilos.And I think I was dreaming for a moment.
Ce bayangkan situation yg bila uolls ingat uolls tengah membuta dekat tilam empuk dekat umah.
pastu tetiba,korang rasa badan korang kene gegar!Semua orang suruh bangun.
Memula tu Aii tak tahu yg Aii pengsan,I was like what the heck?Sape yg kejut
kan aku tengah tido sesedap ni!But then,tetiba I remember,well hello Im not in my room.
And Oh,aku baru pengsan.Doktor dan nurses sume menyerbu kat Aii you know!
Semua suruh bangun.Tapi yg tak boleh belahnya,bila dia org suruh Aii diri.Sebab nak alihkan kat tilam.Aii was serabut!Takleh fikir,and rasa mcm,hello baru pengsan ni nak suruh diri pegi kat tilam.
Seriously???Tapi Aii cuba gak ah bangun.Because masa tu mmg feeling2
really sick.Rasa pening gilos after pengsan,dan rasa nak muntah.Lama gak lag lepak kat
tilam tu,and I was puking ya know.Ngaahhahhaha.
And for the next one week finally I think.I got migrain.I think it was the first time in my life.
Mmg sakit kepala gilos!My mistake I think either it is because my wight was just tepat2 45 or
one kg's above 45 ataupun it is because gua tak cukup tido!
Tapi gua mmg rasa sbb tak cukup tido tulah gua kena sampai mcm tu sekali!sobs kau tahu.
Pengajarannya,kalau tak cukup tido,kau jgn gedik nk derma darah.Ngahhaha.
But I don't really regret it,ce kau bayangkan.Satu titik darah kau boleh selamatkan nyawa orang,tak mcm cool ke?
Gua cakap lu,mmg gua menyampah tahu dengan needle,tapi tak syiok ah bro kalau hidup
pentingkan diri kan?
So gua dapat fulfill my 3 wishes,derma darah and also pengsan,and another wish I think was
migrain!
mmg pastu nafsu makan korang akan banyak,tapi aku control ah jugak.Lek sudah,tak gemuk
pon kalau korang derma darah.Kenalah pandai control.So gua dapat prove that org yg ckp kalau derma darah kita akan gemok tu,totally wrong.Korang kene pandai control diri korang.
I have a lot more weird wishes,but let it be.Ngahhahahahha.

You are not weird,you are one of a kind!Walla weyh!You are okay?
Aii cakap dgn u lah ni..
Nanti kalau rajin I update and touch up balik this story.Ngahahhaha.ENJOY!

Do you know that "Me" ?

Assalammualaikum!

Hey you,yes you.Thank you for reading,I wonder,have I ever hurt you?Well

I wanna say SORRY.I don't know if I did it intentionally or not,but you see I have an issue with myself.

Im still finding myself,Im still trying to figure out what actually is happening with my brain,heart and also life.

 You see,I am kinda weird,unpredictable,shy at times and bla bla bla.

You see,even though Im already am 21 years old,but actually please don't judge me.

It is really just a number.At times I can be like twelve or less and sometimes I can be like

mak nenek (Grandmother).Yes that is me.

You see sometimes maybe I am selfish or perhaps all the time I seems like that,but really

Im trying to find myself.I feel lost.I feel empty deep within.

I need time.I need to be close to my Creator.It feels that Im so into this dunya that 

I feel like my heart is aching so badly.And there is no one that can help me other than Allah SWT.

You see,being a person that am lacking of patience makes me feel afraid of myself.

Being an ordinary person that when I've been  tested by Allah,and I fail to cope

with the test makes me feel so small.

You see,I don't wanna pretend to be just good out sides but the insides is full of

dark sides.It is not gonna lasts long that way.You see,I've been losing myself

like countless times,but you know what?Allah never ever lose His grasp on me.

Never!And InsyaAllah I wanna it to remain like that forever.

You see,please don't mock me and say that Im pretending.Please be more understanding and supporting

instead of judging people all the time.You see this heart of mine,is being aching

and warm words could make the ache feel better.

I used to be so scared of people judgement,but you see it people,when you judge a person,

it is not good for your own self.  Because,we never know what will happen to us in

the future.We barely know,hey in fact we don't know anything.

You see,when you pointed your fingers to people,it's hurt them.

They are not scared probably,but feels sad to be treated on a disrespect way.

You see,every seconds of life is a battle.It's a battle to go to heaven or to hell.

You see,forgive and forget seems easy.But it is not.But yes,though it is hard

but InsyaAllah when time passes it will become sweeter.Because that

is when you truly forgive,because you forget.And you don't even mind to mingle with those that hurt you.

You see,Im far away than perfect.Sometimes I fall.Sometime Im tripping sometimes

I just wanna lay on my bed without doing anything.

So when that day happen,your encourage words will delighted my day even if you are

a stranger.Because maybe that stranger,that stranger has been patiently waiting to

give the words of encouragement that he/she has prepared for me along long

time ago.Because that stranger notice me,when I don't even feel like anyone notice me but Allah.

And when that moment come,I would like to say thank you.

And even though Im not the youngest in my family,but believe me

you might either assume me the youngest or the eldest.Ngahahha.

But Im actually shock when people assume me as the eldest!Hahahahha.

You see,I love to use english a lot.But just because Im using it,please believe me that

my english grammar is a crap!Im not trying to say that Im neglecting my own language,but

honestly and sincerely,seriously I express myself well when I use english.

No,English was not my favie language at first.I always like my native language.

But actually I've been learning english since I was a little.I think it is more likely almost

the same time when I learn to speak Malay I guess.

Because both of my parents are english teachers.And in addition,I have my cousins that

is half british and half malay,so of course I use manglish when I was little with them.

Ngahahah!I hate english at first,because I was a rebel.

And I don't like to the same as my dad.Hey,don't misunderstand.Im so close to my dad,

but I always do things opposite from his interest.Like he is so into english,and the literature.

But me,Im not.Im more to the malay things,not even MALAY,but Indonesian,korean,japanese,

Thailand,Vietnam,Philippine,Bollywood,Taiwan,Hong Kong,you just name it.Hahahah.

I just love all the cultures thing ya know!As long it is good,like the movie or the drama 

is so ohsem,so I feel great too!^.^

You see,Im so sensitive and emotional.But one should feel scared when Im rational.Maybe because

at that time I become a bit tough and a bit heartless.Kahkahkahkah.

Okay,being rational acquiring you to ignore what you want right?

So maybe at that time Im grown up enuff and hopefully Im not gonna cry when watching

a sad movie.Urghh,Im a cry baby no joke!Sometimes I feel like slapping my face you know?

Because just by watching a not so sad movie I will eventually cry.Wakakakak!

Such a soft sponge bob heart lah weyh!

And if you ask me what is the my favie food,it would be spaghettie!Ngahahhaha!Im so

addicted to it.But not just any spaghettie okay.Because when tehy don't suit my taste,

it just makes me feel upset!I don't even like the herbs spaghettie one okay!

For now,I find that my mom,pizza hut,and one stall in indonesian,and also my spaghettie

is the best.Wakakkakak!

Okay if you have anything to ask about me?Ngahahha.

Just ask okay.Im not gonna bite.

 Btw Alhamdullilahh.Im gonna furthering my Bachelor soon.

Alhamdullilah.Alhamdullilah!!!!