Wednesday, July 31, 2013



 Don't ever doubt your awesomeness; remind yourself of who you are. 
Awesomeness is in your DNA. You are naturally awesome. Allow yourself to be natural. Be cool, be you, have fun.

Ngahahahahhah,phrases atas tu mcm memuji diri sendiri!But actually,I just wanna let u know that,dun worry!
Don't worry if you feel like you feel that you kind of a weird person.I always feel like that.
I always feel Im so weird that no one can even be compatible with me.
I often feel like Im gonna be left out.Because sometimes my way of thinking,is indeed
beyond your imagination.Lol.But why?
It is because those imagination,is my hope.Is the reason I stay strong.Through all that,
maybe is one day I work hard enough,it wont be just some silly imagination.
I used to think,being weird is a bad thing.BUT NOW I think it is awesome,and just another
term for ONE OF THE KIND,or Unique.I use my imagination,and thoughts,ideas as a weapon.
Weapon to cherish this life.Without all that,I might just as well be a super weak person.
To be honest,I have a lot of weird wishes.Ngahahha,and one of my weird wishes,is I want to pengsan,faint.
How it would feel when you just pass out.How it will be?Is it painful?
So,Alhamdullilah my wish has been fulfill!.
Let me tell you something,this is not to show off.But I hope you can take this positively.
To tell you the truth.I hate needle!But I always wanna donate my blood.I've been rejected for
like 3 or 4 times,and one of the reason is because,I am under weight.
I was a fat person,and actually I never have those feeling like I look fat or ugly.
Until,a person that I like many2 years ago said that my face is not worth it even a cent,and
I think he sorta called me fat or something.I was like 13 or twelve.I really didn't know
that actually Im ugly.and fat.What I know,is I was happy.
But then,starting from that,I started to be thinner.thinner.and thinner.My teacher asked me back the,
"Are you sick?Because you look  so thin?"
I was actually happy because Im finally am thin,but too bad,I started to get sick.
I got gastric.Maybe you gonna say,alah gastrik je kot kan?
But to tell you the truth,gastric is one the disease that can cause death.
When gastric strike you,then you will know,how freaking painful it is.
PAINFUL SO BADLY!but Im gonna story about it later.
So due to my under weight problem,I can't donate my blood.Actually,there was other problem,
but let it  be a secret.
So,one fine day.I think,it was on my last sem in Uni.I spotted a blood donation campaign or
something.So I was excited!I even eat a lot because I wanna do this.I will not lie,that actually,
Im afraid of the needle!But I really wanna know how it would feel.
And one more thing is,because I know that a lot of people need my blood!
But the problem was,I think Im lacking of sleep.You need at least 5 hours of sleep,ya know!
But I cannot slept the night before,so yeah.Yeah!But I abandon the risk,so I told that maybe
I have more than 5 hours sleep.Because actually I really am not sure okay.Is it less,or more.
so hentam sajalah labu.Ngahahhaha.But I think I really don't sleep well and it is less than 5 hours.ngahhahaha.
And for the first time in my life,I realize that oh Im a type B blood!wehooo!
So after dah derma my blood,I felt sleepy.I was trying to make myself as conscious as possible!
 At first kan,I fel like okay I just felt sleepy,takde ah mcm pening gilos ke apa.Kalau korang
derma darah,nanti dpt makanan free,tapi kan that is not the point okay,tapi Aii dapat nasi ayam.yum yum!
But you know what happen,I didn't realize masa kat meja tu I actually dah pengsan .
So yeah,I was about to eat my nasi ayam,that is when everything is totally blank!
So the feelings of being faint is actually,you will not sedar yg you gonna faint.Maybe pening siikit tu tandanya.atau ngantuk.After pengsan tu,I rasa penat gilos.And I think I was dreaming for a moment.
Ce bayangkan situation yg bila uolls ingat uolls tengah membuta dekat tilam empuk dekat umah.
pastu tetiba,korang rasa badan korang kene gegar!Semua orang suruh bangun.
Memula tu Aii tak tahu yg Aii pengsan,I was like what the heck?Sape yg kejut
kan aku tengah tido sesedap ni!But then,tetiba I remember,well hello Im not in my room.
And Oh,aku baru pengsan.Doktor dan nurses sume menyerbu kat Aii you know!
Semua suruh bangun.Tapi yg tak boleh belahnya,bila dia org suruh Aii diri.Sebab nak alihkan kat tilam.Aii was serabut!Takleh fikir,and rasa mcm,hello baru pengsan ni nak suruh diri pegi kat tilam.
Seriously???Tapi Aii cuba gak ah bangun.Because masa tu mmg feeling2
really sick.Rasa pening gilos after pengsan,dan rasa nak muntah.Lama gak lag lepak kat
tilam tu,and I was puking ya know.Ngaahhahhaha.
And for the next one week finally I think.I got migrain.I think it was the first time in my life.
Mmg sakit kepala gilos!My mistake I think either it is because my wight was just tepat2 45 or
one kg's above 45 ataupun it is because gua tak cukup tido!
Tapi gua mmg rasa sbb tak cukup tido tulah gua kena sampai mcm tu sekali!sobs kau tahu.
Pengajarannya,kalau tak cukup tido,kau jgn gedik nk derma darah.Ngahhaha.
But I don't really regret it,ce kau bayangkan.Satu titik darah kau boleh selamatkan nyawa orang,tak mcm cool ke?
Gua cakap lu,mmg gua menyampah tahu dengan needle,tapi tak syiok ah bro kalau hidup
pentingkan diri kan?
So gua dapat fulfill my 3 wishes,derma darah and also pengsan,and another wish I think was
mmg pastu nafsu makan korang akan banyak,tapi aku control ah jugak.Lek sudah,tak gemuk
pon kalau korang derma darah.Kenalah pandai control.So gua dapat prove that org yg ckp kalau derma darah kita akan gemok tu,totally wrong.Korang kene pandai control diri korang.
I have a lot more weird wishes,but let it be.Ngahhahahahha.

You are not weird,you are one of a kind!Walla weyh!You are okay?
Aii cakap dgn u lah ni..
Nanti kalau rajin I update and touch up balik this story.Ngahahhaha.ENJOY!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Do you know that "Me" ?


Hey you,yes you.Thank you for reading,I wonder,have I ever hurt you?Well
I wanna say SORRY.I don't know if I did it intentionally or not,but you see I have an issue with myself.
Im still finding myself,Im still trying to figure out what actually is happening with my brain,heart and also life.
 You see,I am kinda weird,unpredictable,shy at times and bla bla bla.
You see,even though Im already am 21 years old,but actually please don't judge me.
It is really just a number.At times I can be like twelve or less and sometimes I can be like
mak nenek (Grandmother).Yes that is me.
You see sometimes maybe I am selfish or perhaps all the time I seems like that,but really
Im trying to find myself.I feel lost.I feel empty deep within.
I need time.I need to be close to my Creator.It feels that Im so into this dunya that 
I feel like my heart is aching so badly.And there is no one that can help me other than Allah SWT.
You see,being a person that am lacking of patience makes me feel afraid of myself.
Being an ordinary person that when I've been  tested by Allah,and I fail to cope
with the test makes me feel so small.
You see,I don't wanna pretend to be just good out sides but the insides is full of
dark sides.It is not gonna lasts long that way.You see,I've been losing myself
like countless times,but you know what?Allah never ever lose His grasp on me.
Never!And InsyaAllah I wanna it to remain like that forever.
You see,please don't mock me and say that Im pretending.Please be more understanding and supporting
instead of judging people all the time.You see this heart of mine,is being aching
and warm words could make the ache feel better.
I used to be so scared of people judgement,but you see it people,when you judge a person,
it is not good for your own self.  Because,we never know what will happen to us in
the future.We barely know,hey in fact we don't know anything.
You see,when you pointed your fingers to people,it's hurt them.
They are not scared probably,but feels sad to be treated on a disrespect way.
You see,every seconds of life is a battle.It's a battle to go to heaven or to hell.
You see,forgive and forget seems easy.But it is not.But yes,though it is hard
but InsyaAllah when time passes it will become sweeter.Because that
is when you truly forgive,because you forget.And you don't even mind to mingle with those that hurt you.
You see,Im far away than perfect.Sometimes I fall.Sometime Im tripping sometimes
I just wanna lay on my bed without doing anything.
So when that day happen,your encourage words will delighted my day even if you are
a stranger.Because maybe that stranger,that stranger has been patiently waiting to
give the words of encouragement that he/she has prepared for me along long
time ago.Because that stranger notice me,when I don't even feel like anyone notice me but Allah.
And when that moment come,I would like to say thank you.
And even though Im not the youngest in my family,but believe me
you might either assume me the youngest or the eldest.Ngahahha.
But Im actually shock when people assume me as the eldest!Hahahahha.

You see,I love to use english a lot.But just because Im using it,please believe me that
my english grammar is a crap!Im not trying to say that Im neglecting my own language,but
honestly and sincerely,seriously I express myself well when I use english.
No,English was not my favie language at first.I always like my native language.
But actually I've been learning english since I was a little.I think it is more likely almost
the same time when I learn to speak Malay I guess.
Because both of my parents are english teachers.And in addition,I have my cousins that
is half british and half malay,so of course I use manglish when I was little with them.
Ngahahah!I hate english at first,because I was a rebel.
And I don't like to the same as my dad.Hey,don't misunderstand.Im so close to my dad,
but I always do things opposite from his interest.Like he is so into english,and the literature.
But me,Im not.Im more to the malay things,not even MALAY,but Indonesian,korean,japanese,
Thailand,Vietnam,Philippine,Bollywood,Taiwan,Hong Kong,you just name it.Hahahah.
I just love all the cultures thing ya know!As long it is good,like the movie or the drama 
is so ohsem,so I feel great too!^.^
You see,Im so sensitive and emotional.But one should feel scared when Im rational.Maybe because
at that time I become a bit tough and a bit heartless.Kahkahkahkah.
Okay,being rational acquiring you to ignore what you want right?
So maybe at that time Im grown up enuff and hopefully Im not gonna cry when watching
a sad movie.Urghh,Im a cry baby no joke!Sometimes I feel like slapping my face you know?
Because just by watching a not so sad movie I will eventually cry.Wakakakak!
Such a soft sponge bob heart lah weyh!
And if you ask me what is the my favie food,it would be spaghettie!Ngahahhaha!Im so
addicted to it.But not just any spaghettie okay.Because when tehy don't suit my taste,
it just makes me feel upset!I don't even like the herbs spaghettie one okay!
For now,I find that my mom,pizza hut,and one stall in indonesian,and also my spaghettie
is the best.Wakakkakak!
Okay if you have anything to ask about me?Ngahahha.
Just ask okay.Im not gonna bite.
 Btw Alhamdullilahh.Im gonna furthering my Bachelor soon.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Kun Fayakun.


detik waktu terus berjalan
berhias gelap dan terang
suka dan duka tangis dan tawa
tergores bagai lukisan
seribu mimpi berjuta sepi
hadir bagai teman sejati
di antara lelahnya jiwa
dalam resah dan air mata
kupersembahkan kepadaMu
yang terindah dalam hidup
meski ku rapuh dalam langkah
kadang tak setia kepadaMu
namun cinta dalam jiwa
hanyalah padaMu
maafkanlah bila hati
tak sempurna mencintaiMu
dalam dadaku harap hanya
diriMu yang bertahta
detik waktu terus berlalu
semua berakhir padaMu

Disaat waktu berhenti... kosong
Dimensi membutakan mata, memekakkan telinga
Lalu diri menjadi hampa
Saat paradigma dunia tidak lagi digunakan untuk menerka
Sadarku akan hadirmu, mematahkan sendi2 yang biasanya tegak berdiri
 Ult li albi bissaraha (I'm opening up my heart with honesty)
Hayya nab'idil karaha (Let's avoid the hated and hatred)
Syakkireena a' kulli ni'ma (Let's remain thankful with what we have)
Ba' ideena anil fattana (Let's avoid all lies and sins)
Merenungi luar jendela, mengagumi kebesaran yang Maha Esa
Ku menilai kehidupan dari sudut berbeza
Tak memadai hanya kecapi rasa selesa
Maukan harta yang mampu beli 1 semesta
Berpesta ke pagi botol bergelimpangan
Kekasih muda bukan setakat berpegang tangan
Harta dan jamuan nafsu tidak berkekalan
Bila menjelang tua bukan itu jadi bekalan
Dan jangan puisi ini disalah tafsir pula
Bukan berkhutbah cuma betuli diri jua
Ingin hidup sempurna aset nilai berjuta,
senyum dan mati tua
Bakat dikurnia jangan disalah guna
Jangan kufur nikmat yang diberi percuma
Guna kelebihan untuk hikmah bersama
Jagalah nama hidup penuh pementasan dan drama

Ada berisi ada yang kurus, ada melencong ada yang lurus bukan semuanya tulus
Ada sempuna ada kurang upaya ada yang jadi buta hanya bila sudah kaya
Sebesar rumah bermula dengan sekecil bata, boleh hilang dalam sekelip mata
Ucaplah alhamdulillah bukannya sukar, kerna semua yang kaya atau besar
Tetap Allahuakbar!

Jadikanlah ku tentera Fisabilillah yang tertera di kalimah harap memanduilah
Entah apabila persimpangan tiba, hidup penuh dengan rintangan harus kuhadapinya
Harapku tidak lupa diri bila gembira, dan cuma mula mencari kau disaat hiba
Ku cuma manusia penuh dengan kesilapan tapi bisa membezakan cahaya dan kegelapan
Tabah bila dihalangan duri onak dan cobaan
Teguh bila dicobakan keruh kuasa
Oh, Sentiasa legar diminda, dikejar dan dipinta dari zaman bermula hingga ke akhirnya
Ku mengerti siapa ku tanpamu disisi dan apa guna posisi juga posesi
Sementara ini cuma hanya puisi, nukilan tulisan dan bisikan isi hati
Mencari ketenangan, menjiwai peranan menepati pesanan janji juga saranan
Alhamdulillah atas kurniaan rezeki, moga tidak leka dalam perjalanan ini

Aku yang memandang di dalam lubuk hati, mencari-cari zat rahsia yang katanya tersembunyi
Aku yang melihat alam meliputi wujud menyertai lalu ku pindahkan alam ke dalam mata hati
Aku hakiki, aku mengerti segala yang terjadi di langit dan di bumi
Gunanya tiada fantasi, pelik dan benar, qada' dan qadar kau berilah ku kekuatan
Agar dapat ku hindarkan segala kesesatan
Usah kau biar nafsuku terliur dari pandangan majazi ini,
Aku yang hodoh lagi hina amat benar merindui
Moga cahaya lelapku tak membutakan mataku, semoga segala puji tak ku meninggi diri
Moga segala janji dapat juga ku penuhi, moga dapatku hadapi tikaman dari belakang
Lidah setajam pisau, ku tidak akan risau dengan cabaran, dugaan sepanjang perjalanan
Ku pasrah ku akur 7, 8, 6 Alhamdulillah Syukur...

Laihi ya ruhi yadada ya laihi
Yalaihi ya yaruhi ya yadada yalaihi...

Sujudku pun takkan memuaskan inginku
'Tuk hanturkan* sembah sedalam kalbu
Adapun kusembahkan syukur padamu ya Allah
Untuk nama, harta dan keluarga yang mencinta
Dan perjalanan yang sejauh ini tertempa
Alhamdulillah pilihan dan kesempatan
Yang membuat hamba mengerti lebih baik makna diri
Semua lebih berarti akan mudah dihayati
Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah...

Kun Fayakun.



Remember those hard time?
So maybe this could make you smile.Maybe.

"You know what,Im not strong."She.
"I know,that is why I always hold my phone so that you if anything happen,
if you need me,Im gonna be there for you."He.
"You know what,what if your girlfriend or future wife don't like me?What if
you will just be like the other one that left me?"She.
"You know Im not like that,right?I always show you off to my friends.Even
to the girl I love.Hey,I sayang you tahu."He.
"But maybe because of that,you might not have any friend and I don't know anything.
I feel scared of trusting people."She.
"Look,this bond is precious.You know what,I bersyukur sangat dapat kwn dgn you.5 tahun bukan sekejap.
But you know and I know,who is inside your heart.So lantaklah dia orang nk ckp apa.
You always have my side.And I know,your afraid to trust,but hey Im not gonna ask you
to trust me,but did I ever make you cry?Did I ever lie to you?You know it better."He.
"Im the queen of insecurity and awkward.Don't you think Im so lame?"She.
"No you are not.You just feel like that because of some jerk put you in that situation.
I know you well,you are never like that.And it is the truth.Look,Im maybe far away right now,
but you know that Im there always,Im always with you."He.
"Im tired."She.
"Take a rest.Okay?"He.
"You are being super annoying!"She.
"Well my wonder girl is coming back.You gonna be okay."He.
"What if Im not?I just wanna lay on my bed all day."She.
"Okay,but with 3 conditions.Don't forget to pray,5 times a day.Second,
do not forget to recites some ayat frot the Al-Quran.Pendek pon takpe.Asal kau buka
Al-Quran tu.Thirdly,zikrullah.Zikir okay?Then if anything,just give me a call.But I got exam like
 another 2 hours,If Im not there,Im gonna bet there when Im there."He.
"You said you gonna always be there for me."She.
"Makcik,literally you know I am.Don't be so comel boleh?"He.
"Im not comel,it is called clingy."She.
"So what?I think Im more clingy than you"He.
""Why you don't wanna ask me why?"She.
"I know you are not okay.So if you wanna story you will,I don;t wanna force you.
It might be hard to explain,so let it just comes out naturally okay?"He.
"What about the love of your life?"She.
"She is here tahu.She kirim salam said cheer up baby girl!See,I don't neglect
you.And she totally know you tahu."He.
"Hmm.did she read this?"She.
"Hahahahha,tertengoklah.Not all,just a little.Malu ke jealous ni?."He.
"The day that Im gonna be jealous of your love will never exist ye pakcik.No lah,
I just hated to kacau you,kang tak pasal-pasla free-free je mcm dulu tu jadi."She.
"Lol,you know what.If people don't like you,Im not even gonna interested with them.
That is how much you meant to me.I care tahu!"He.
"Behavelah mangkuk,Im not your girlfriend."She.
"Yes my girl is back!Love it.Taklah makcik,this is the way I am 5 years ago,and 
this is the way I am now.Tak pernah berubah tahu."He.
"Tahu,saja je.Tapi seriously you need to cut off your sweet talker skill with everyone lah.
Aku dh lah menyampah weyh."She.
"I know lah you hate sweet talker thing.Tapi nak wat mcm mana,ummie mmg dh ajar aku
ckp sweet2,kang tak masal aku kene lempang dgn umiie tahu ckp gengster2.Kalau
Ummie tahu aku ber "kau" dan "aku" dgn kau ni alamatnya mmg lah aku kena
tazkirah tahu.Kau lah gengster sangat."He.
"Nanti aku bg tahu Ummie,biar padan muka dgn kau."She.
"Well,bila aku panggil nama kau,kau nk muntah darah.So terpaksalah aku bergenster dgn kau.
Tapi takpelah,insyaAllah ummie faham.Sebabnya kau pon kan tomboyish muslimah sikit."He.
"Kau nak aku block kau seminggu ke?"She.
"Kalau kau block aku,seriously Im just gonna take a flight and balik."He.
"Ish sweet talker!"She.
"Well sweet talker?Habis yg masa birthday kau aku balik tu?Only for 4 days,thousand miles
kau tahu aku jelajah sbb kang kalau aku tak balik,sedih pulak.Hah apa tu?"He.
"Okay man,I get you.Thank you for this.Im gonna be okay.Kirim slaam dgn Ummie nanti
kalau kau skype.Cakap dgn Ummie,anak dia dah pandai menggatal."She.
"Well,kawan baik siapa kan?"He.
"Whatever,Okay I gotta go man."She.
"Okay,take care sweet thang."He.


Sometimes in the darkness of you life,you just have to look the light
using your heart not your eyes.
And cherish every single little things.MAY Allah bless you,beautiful soul.
There is no power greater than Allah love,indeed.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Ramadhan Sharing: Part 1

Assalammualaikum ^.^

Alhamdullilah being bless for being a MUSLIM!
Alhamdullilah for everything,bless bless bless.
I can't wait TO HAVE this.
One day that will be you,and that little one is called OURS
Ramadhan is a month of bless,miracle make a prayer and Allah will answer you.Indeed He ALWAYS 
answer you.He never neglect you.If you think He don't answer you,or do not give anything that you want then
you are wrong.Because sometimes,He wanna give you THE BEST GIFT you ever ask for.I meant He
is our Creator,therefore He know what we don't have KNOW.
He will make sure,you ONLY deserve the BEST of all.InsyaAllah.
La Tahzan okay?

This is something I wanna share with you all.
For knowledge,baby!

Okay kalau Aii stress ke,atau rasa down ke hape.I suka lepak tengok benda ni.

Actually ada banyak lagi.Ni salah satu.Sebab kalau korang pegi kat sini,akan ada link2 yang berangkai lain.
Apalah salahnya kan gain a bit knowledge through this technology given by Allah.SubhanaAllah!
Banyak jugaklah melalak masa tengok benda ni sume.Sebab rasa mcm kerdil je.
And I can feel the love for Rasullulah.Hey I love him so much.
You should love him tooo,you know?

Allahurrahman Allahurrahim
Allahul malikul kuddusussalam
Allahul mukmin allahul muhaymin
Allahul azzizul jabbarrul muttaqabbir

Denganmu aku hidup
Denganmu aku mati
Hanyalah padamu
hanyalah untukmu
Hidupkan dijalani

Everything Has Change.


First of all,I wanna wish to all the Muslims,Selamat Berpuasa ye
Korang!Stay strong,stay cool,stay tawakal dan tawaduk!Rebut
pahala banyak2 okay?
Alhamdullilah,Im getting better.AHAKS.
To tell you the truth,I think Im better at writing when it comes to
express myself.At least I can rewrite If Im wrong.But if I
speak,I sounds weird.WEIRD.
Yess,I usually do the thing people always tot it is impossible.
I mean,like odds thing.
I love to make events,surprises!Like baru lah macam suspen sikit kan?Ngahahhahahah.
Right now.I just wanna say that,everything has change.
Thank you to Allah.
Thank you for this story.I know you are writing the best story for me.
To tell you the truth,
I just wanna know you better now.Know you better,know
you know you.Ek eleh,Ed Sharon feat Taylor Swift Pulok!Ngahaha.

Do you realize?And you know that....
all my walls stood tall painted pink before
 But i'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you
And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind
Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel like
 I just want to know you better know you better know you better now

All I know is a simple name, everything has changed

All I know is you have this beautiful soul inside of you.
All I know is you can be 2 person,an adult and a little kid.
All I know is,everytime I look at you I look at myself.
All I know is,you are unpredictable.
All I know is you love to speak Malay,and there is no one.No one that speak Malay
that makes me smile like weird person.Like,how can your Malay affected me so much?
All I know is my english sounds crappy when Im with you.
All I know is you are really straightforward person. 
All I know,is maybe I don't know anything at all.
All I know is you make me smile.
All I know is I feel really great.
All I know is,you don't have a clue Im talking about you.
All I know is I feel bless.
All I know is I wanna know you better now.
Alla I know is there is big reason why our path meet.
All I know is Im happy.
All I know is I see the rainbow.
All I know is everything has change.

#Silalah jgn termuntah kat bakul ke hape.I wrote what I feel.
Though rasa meremang gak ni.Ngahahah!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Have a little Faith.


Slap my face!Wake up!Ngaahhahahhahah.I was drowning into the darkest
This is epic.But yeah.
I shall slap myself because I feel ALONE.When the fact that Allah is taking care of me.
I shall slap myself,because I feel numb.When Im surrounded by love.
I shall slap myself for thinking negatively,when the sun is shining brightly.
I shall remind myself that,hey Im the super happy bubbly person.Lol.

The trick is when things aren’t so great, you don’t junk the whole thing. It’s okay to have an argument. It’s okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It’s part of being close to someone.
        —  Have a little faith, Mitch Albom             


Thursday, July 4, 2013

Refrain :')


"If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded."-Maya Angelou

Refrain.It is equal to the word Enduring/Endurance.Maybe.
Sometimes you have to refrain yourself.Because you feel it is for the best.Refrain.
Refrain because you are trying to look at the bright sight but sometimes BAM!The future
seems pretty gloomy.DARK.And when you don't wanna move.And
when you finally said you're done.Done,period!BAM, miracle happen.But
you are wondering,this time how long could it lasts?Refrain.
Refrain because you feel like your words,your effort has becomes nothing but worthless.
Sometimes you have prepare this whole surprises,events,words,yet you swallow all of 
it because you afraid of the awful reaction or the possible worse out come. It could be like the worse
you could get.Yes thanks for the bad imagination.
But sometimes,because you don't wanna change that thing.You don't wanna ruin that
precious bond with each other.The bond that you alone treasure it.You don't wanna be see as
retarded  or weird.But what you don't see is the more you hide it,the more weirder
you have become.
It its not because you are coward.It was never because you are a liar.
but because you care.but because you love.that is why,refrain.
Sometimes the word or the thing that you really wanna do is sorta stuck on the back of
your throat,or you wrote it with care but you keep on deleting it as if
as it is not important.
and sometimes even at the gate of letting go,you hold everything you wanna say and smile.
Walla,refraining.Yeah it is refrain.I bet a lot of you are refraining yourself.
Have you ever wanna utter this words
"Hey I don;t like you at all,because I ---- you!"
Ngahahhah,That 4 alphabet is a struggling,isn't it?

The conversation.Here we go again.
"No no no!You are not running away this time!"He.
"Hahahah.yes I will!And you can't stop me!"She.
"What is the problem?Afraid to even utter?"He.
"Everything is the problem.Me.Im weird,and everything about me is not according
to that person dreams I guess.Over sensitive,over romantic and over everything!"She.
"Well at least you are trying hard to refraining yourself.Ngahahha!"He.
"That is so not funny!"She.
"Well you burst about everything but you never utter the most IMPORTANT words!
Those three words are reallly important,do you know that?"He.
"Im afraid.This time would be the last time if I ever utter it.This is the first time
after so many years,I don't wannna lose a person. "She.
"Then let me try?"He.
"No!Are you crazy man?Let it be."She.
"Well if I give you to handle  this,it might take forever,don't you think so?"He.
"Let it be!I will try to refrain harder!"She.
"Why I can't know the exact story?"He.
"No one know the EXACT story.Because I learn that people never listen truthfully maybe.
I told 60% of the story and they don't even bother to understand of it properly.So why should I bother?"She.
"Hey,Im not like that!"He.
"Lol,you are so like that!But let it be.Let it be."She.
"Wow Im amazed with your patient nowadays."He.
"Not so.Im still a crying baby."She.
"It's okay,I lend you my earss and shoulder through skyping okay?"He.
"Lol.Not funny.You know,I wish to begin again."She.
"You are starting over,and Im a proud bestfriend!"He.
"Will you be disappoint on me?"She.
"Why should I?Human are imperfect.Even if you fail,I will be there to cheer you up."He.
"We are totally weird."She.
"I agree with that,but isn't it beautiful?"He.
"What is beautiful?"She.
"That we don't have those mushy mushy feelings but really care of each other so much."He.
"Yes.Feels like crying!Thank you pumpkin!"She.
"Im not that fat okay?"He.
"You are my teddy bear."She.
"Hahahha,cheer up okay?The sky won't forever be dark.Recites the Quran,
if you feel empty.And you can take wuduk to ease yourself.Be closer to our
Creator.And ifr Im not there when you need the most,wait.While waiting,you should
recites Yassin okay?I'll be there.And if Im not there,remember I care for you.So never
do anything stupid.Because I love you."He.
"As friendlah mangkuk."He.
"Hahhaha,saja je lah.Thank you.Sobs!"She.
"You know.I know exactly how hard is refraining. You feel insecure,you hurt alone, you might feel that
way,but remember Allah loves you so much,Even when Im not there,even when you are alone,
you know Allah is with you and you will never walk alone,right?"He.
"I know.I know.I keep remind myself of it too.It's amazing
how I can actually sense that something is not right but Im too coward to ask.
So I refrain myself.What more can I do besides just hoping and praying for the best bro?"She.

You read.You listen.You don't know the whole story.Stop judging.
Tadaa.Salam Ramadhan.
So sorry for the lateness.
I've been busy!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The last Call

Could this just be a story a fairytale or finally a reality?

The conversation.
"Waitt!!You don't tell her huh?"She.
"Yeah.I need a rest beb.It's been tiring.Too tiring."He.
"I bet you are crying now kan?HAHAHHA."She.
"Eh mana ada,kau ingat aku apa nak nangis-nangis?"He.
"Aku kenal sangat dgn kau ni lah.Kau mana pernah suka orang ni.So
I consider this is your first.Alah sorrylah bro.Tapi look if you are crying,Im not gonna
complain but I will laughing.Hahahha."She.
"Beb..Im not in a good mood."He.
"I know.I don't want to be so serious,so that you can smile?"She.
"Because you are in a hard position too right?"He.
"Eh aku pulak.Kau ni ada-ada je.We are talking about you kan?"She.
"But youu yourself is breaking down,right?"He.
"Hmm..sorta off..Biarlah.But how did you know?"She.
"I got sense..I don't wanna burden you.But you caught me off guard.Darn it!"He.
"Relax,can I escape to your place?"She.
"Hahahha,kalau aku perempuan mmg aku dah alu-alukan sangat!Tiket pon aku tanggung!
Tapi aku ni lakilah.Dahlah aku tak rapat pon dgn budak perempuan sini."He.
"Apa guna hotel?'She.
"So that you can be alone and do stupid things?I don't think so."He.
"Hmm,jahatlah kau ni."She.
"Concern,I know you okay."He.
"Okay back to the point.Pesal kau give up?"She.
"Kau pon dah penatkan?"He.
"Eh aku pulak?Kau ni.Jangan ingatkan aku boleh?"She.
"Hahahhaha,because basically we involve in the same situation right?"He.
"It's hurt right?I can't even cry."She.
"I wanna wipe this things away,but Im sure of one thing.You won't right?"He.
"Im already hating myself.Aku amazed lah dgn Abang Umar tu.Sobs betullah aku ni."She.
"Chill beb.Umar masuk Islam sebab masa tu dia dengar azan tahu?Lepas dia
putus harapan dgn Dya tu kan dia lari oversea mcm apa yang kau nak buat ni."He.
"Hahahhahah.Aku dh biasa panggil dia Umar sampai aku lupa that he is a chinese.Ngahahha."She.
"Hello,orang yang kau tengah cakap ni pon half chinese kau tahu?"He.
"Ngahahha,okay okay.Alah kau jgnlah give up.Takkan kau nak blah je camtu?"She.
"Actually dia dah lama tahu,But semalam aku let it out semua.I told her,I can't keep
to be her second when she is always my first and never have any other option.Sorrylah tadi
aku taknak panjangkan cerita sebab tu aku ckp aku tak bg tahu dia"He.
"Cis kau tipu aku lagi aku  aku sepak kau for real!Jap,kau ke yang cakap macam ni?Ni ke kawan aku yang tak suka bercinta tu?"She.
"Hahahahha.Amboi!Eh aku cakap for real tahu.Tu lah,aku ni gentle kan?"He.
"Tolong jgn buat aku muntah?"She.
"Aku suka cakap dgn kau.Sebab bila kau sedih pon kau nak buat orang ketawa."He.
"Mana ada aku sedih."She.
"When you are sad,you tend to laugh more than me beb."He.
"Aku dah besar,aku okay.Aku penatlah nak org jaga aku."She.
"You will always be my baby,you know right?"He.
"Sebab ni lah kot dia reject kau.Apahal kau nak panggil aku baby pulak ni dah?"She
"Lah,dari mula kita kenal pon mmg ko sorang je tahu aku panggil mcm ni.Kitakan
kawan yang paling ohsem?Hahahha."He.
"But thanks lah bro.Thanks for being here,walopon aku rasa sana trengah pagi atau
malam buta kan?"She.
"Hahahha.This long distance won't break us InsyaAllah okay.So what is you decision?"He.
"I don't really know.Split by two."She.
"Lets go back and do some talk with our Creator beb?He knows what is the best."He.
"Baiklah Encik Dr.Falsafah."She.
"Amin,aku gharap cepatlah aku jadik doktor ni.Aku dah tak larat dah ni."He.

Is this what they called fate?


I actually translate my own feelings through script,quotes a good saying and lyrics.
So this is another one.
 But I will change it a bit.

"Que,when a person take care of another that means that person loves the other right?
Que,you can take care of Adelia.Because I will be taking care of you,Que."Sophie.


"I think Im in love with you."Sophie

Que was laughing hilariously!

"This was much funnier than the hare and tortoise joke."Que

Sophie have to fake the laugh to cover up the embarassement because Que was too blind
to see it.He tot that was a big joke instead!

"Oh ,was it so funny?"Sophie. *faking the tone.

"Yes funny,very funny!"Que.

"Im glad it's funny for you.It's funny right?"Sophie.

"Yes it's funny but next time try to get the same quality for your script..Your script
was turned down you said.What exactly you are doing every night by the desk?
Why so stubborn?You should just go to sleep and put your brain to rest.If I sat by the desk
like you,I've had  like 10 script's done already!Im really not sure why  Mukhriz hired you.
It doesn't make any sense to me."Que.

"I must be crazy."Sophie


"I said I must be crazy!"Sophie.

But in the end they still go back for each other.
Ngahahha.This is the line from full house okay!
I really like how genuine that girl is,I mean even it was hurting her she always
wear that bright smiles!And even when she cry,she still loves.
I love the positive vibes!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Why I love Kang Gary? :)

I think most of you know Gelly Gelly like!You know what,
he is seriously close to my ideal type!
You know what?A pretty face only capture a heart for a moment but
a beautiful personality will definitely capture a heart forever!!!
 I meant you might say like I even know him.And I yup maybe.
But it is not like everything happen in running man or the words he said in any
media social is false right?
I actually really like rapper.I am amazed with people that can rap well!
And I love a person that can play skateboard too!Macam cool je tahu!
Idk if he can really play it,but maybe right?HAHAHHA.
He is a calm person that for me will not just erupt his anger easily.
I love a calm person!He sorta protective over girl.I mean all men should do it!
How can you be rough to a girl right?
I like it when he tends to always let Mong Ji wins!Like shooo cute!Mmmuahahaha.
And he is happy over a little thing.Ohsem rite?
It does not take much for him to be happy.It is like he treasure every little things!

should I bought this for my dad?Ngahahhaha

Maybe you would fall for this person too ,now?
For me what is "HANDSOME" about Kang Gary,is his personality.
And his small eyes!I love people with small eyes.
And most of all his manner and coolness!
His simpleness too!

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