Fix yourself.

Hi.

5 years ago, a person told me to fix myself. I thought that there was nothing wrong with me.

But maybe.

Today I've admitted.

I was dreaming to be with a prince, when I was nothing.Well im still yet nothing.

But back then, it was sincere despite all the sh*it.

nowadays people see my smile.maybe thinking she is doing well.

the truth is i feel like dying.

as i cannot say im not okay.

fake friends who stab you when you tried to give everything for them.

ex boyfriends who were abusive.

what's more?

God,forgive me for complaining.

*sigh.

the truth is.you are right, im just a loser,loner.

Loser, loner
A coward who pretends to be tough
A mean delinquent

A loner, a jackass covered in scars
Dirty trash

Honestly, I’ve never fit in with the world
I was always alone
It’s been a long time since I’ve forgotten about love
I can’t listen to hopeful love songs anymore
You and me both
We’re just sad clowns, tamed and scripted
I’ve come too far
I’M COMING HOME
I wanna go back
To when I was young

At some point
I started looking at the ground more than the sky
It’s hard even to breathe
I hold out my hand
But no one holds it

It’s a cycle of boys and mistakes
Love them for one night
And hate them when morning comes
Can’t own up to it
Because of my selfish pleasure
Everything is being ruined
Can’t stop this dangerous full speed run
Now I have no interest, no fun anymore
I’m standing alone at the edge of a cliff
I’m going home
I wanna go back
To how it was before

At some point
I’ve gotten scared of people’s eyes
I’m sick of crying so I tried smiling
But no one recognizes me

so you dont need to try to shove on my face.I know, im not worth it.Im just tired.I never

Feel more empty.

Blind?

Oh.

sorry.

it's been a while.

oh well i miss my smile.

Look.You probably will read this right?

or not? well whatever Im still going to write it.

Im not that plain stupid.

Im not blind either, just in case if you thought I am.

I am 23.

And I dont have the time to play games.

And well.

You just dont get over her yet kan?

I know.

No matter what.

You going to say.

I know.

Funny.

Funny.

It's just.

stupidly.

For trying too much for someone's who doesn't bother at all.

because I thought.

you care.

well sorry.

I hope so much for someone.

who still stuck at his past.

kan?

is it even hurt when you said.

you feel like dying.

when i talk about him?

or it was just another lie.

you know better.

and well.

if what i wrote.

is bullshit.

then maybe.

im just pretty lame blind.

the funniest thing.
is you made me feel like im completely nothing.
well.
real talk.

i ain't nothing pon.
and i always know.
not pretty shit.
sucks relationshit with most of people.
blacksheep of the troops most of the time.
but well.

are you still trying to make me feel unwanted though?
i already know.
that i can't compare to anyone.
oh she?
truth is.
i look at her frequently.
damn shit.
she is perfect kan?
still.
even with all the shits.
and me?

damn.
i never like myself pon.
im lacking in anything and any way.
but maybe.
maybe i just wanna trust.
that even with my lacking.
you wont.
push it too much.
to the point when i feel like.
i wish i can be.
someone.
you gonna miss.

it's just.
if im your girl.
they why makes other people.
taking care more than you?
i miss u.
gila.

and well.

to you that read this.

that probably know nothing at all.

oh please, dont assume things honey.

Stay grand, Just Yet,

Oh.

Hi.

Its's been a while?

The weight

of a simple human emotion

weighs me down

more than the tank ever did

The pain

it's determined and demanding

to ache, but I'm okay . . .

And I don't want to let this go

I don't want to lose control

I just want to see the stars with you

And I don't wanna say goodbye

someone tell me why

I just want to see the stars with you

You lost, a part of your existence

in the war, against yourself

oh, the lights,

they light up in lights of sadness

telling you, it's time to go

And I don't want to let this go

I don't want to lose control

Don't give it up just yet stay grand

for one more minute, don't give it up

just yet stay grand(no)

Don't give it up just yet stay grand

for one more minute, don't give it up

just yet stay grand.

ต้องโทษใจมันไม่รักดี ก็มันดีแต่รักเธอ: dtaung toht jai mun mai ruk dee gor mun dee dtae ruk tur

เธอคงเบื่อใช่ไหม ที่ฉันยังอยู่รบกวนใจเธอ

Tur kong beua chai mai tee chun yung yoo rop guan jai tur

You’re probably sick of me bothering you, aren’t you?

มามองตาทั้งทั้งที่เธอผลักไส

Mah maung dtah tung tung tee tur pluk sai

I look into your eyes, even though you’re pushing me away

ฉันก็เบื่อตัวเองเหมือนกัน ที่มันไม่ยอมเมินไป

Chun gor beua dtua eng meuan gun tee mun mia yaum mern bpai

I’m sick of myself too, that I refuse to turn away

นานเพียงใดก็ยังยืนยันจะรอ

Nahn piang dai gor yung yeun yun ja ror

However long it’ll be, I’m still reassuring you that I’ll wait

(*) ไม่รับรู้อะไรทั้งนั้น ใจมันรั้นไม่ฟังเหตุผล

Mai rup roo arai tung nun jai mun run mai fung hetpon

I refuse to acknoledge it all, my heart is stubborn and won’t listen to reason

ดูแล้วเหมือนคน พูดไม่รู้เรื่องใช่ไหม

Doo laeo meuan kon poot mai roo reaung chai mai

I’ve seen it, and it’s like it doesn’t understand what people are saying, right?

(**) เธอบอกไม่รักเท่าไรเท่าไร

Tur bauk mai ruk tao rai tao rai

You tell me how much you don’t love me

ไม่ยอมเข้าใจเข้าใจ

Mai yaum kao jai kao jai

I refuse to understand, to understand

แกล้งหูทวนลมมันไปได้ทุกที

Glaeng hoo tuan lom mun bpai dai took tee

I pretend to turn a deaf ear every time

ได้ยินคำเดียวรักเธอรักเธอ

Dai yin kum diao ruk tur ruk tur

I can only hear one thing; “I love you,” “I love you

มันดังอยู่ข้างในนี้

Mun dung yoo kahng nai nee

It’s loud inside here

ต้องโทษใจมันไม่รักดี ก็มันดีแต่รักเธอ

dtaung toht jai mun mai ruk dee gor mun dee dtae ruk tur

I must apologize that my heart is stubborn, it’s only good at loving you

รู้ว่าไม่มีหวัง ทั้งรู้ก็ยังหวังว่าจะมี

Roo wah mai mee wung tung roo gor yung wung wah ja mee

I know that I have no hope, but even though I know this, I still hope I will

จะมีวันได้ยินว่ารักสักครั้ง

Ja mee wun dai yin wah ruk suk krung

I will have some day that you’ll hear how much I love you

แม้ว่าในวันนี้ ต้องฟังเธอบอกว่าไม่มีทาง

Mae wah nai wun nee dtaung fung tur bauk wah mai mee tahng

Even though today I must listen to you tell me there’s no way

ไม่เป็นไรไม่เอามารู้สึกท้อ

Mai bpen rai mai ao mah roo seuk tor

It’s okay, I don’t want to feel discouraged

(*,**)

รักเธอ

Ruk tur

I love you

แม้ว่า
Mae wah
Even though

...