HEART STORY.

I cant even count how much time i have spent wishing i was with you, 

wishing everything was okay, 

wishing you were here, 

and wishing you knew how much i actually love you. </3

What if I never met you, What if I didnt accept your apology everytime, what if I told you how I really felt instead of hidding it from everyone... What if I moved on and didn't fight to keep us together...would you?

p/s:sometimes i wish the wind could tell how much i miss you.

sometimes i wish to forget if its better.

sometimes i wish for amnesia.

or just maybe im tired of everything.

but a friend of mine said.

to be a good person.

there is always "dugaan"

that tells how much Allah love you.

WHATEVER.

First of all happy birthday bella!

Today is my superb best friend eva birthday.

dengan itu dia sudah tua!

hahahahahha.

Ok currently I could feel that I can possibly having a massive headache.

Or a massive gastric.

Due to the chaotic people around me.

So I guess good food do heal me!

Makan banyak2 release tense!

But badan sampai skrg tak naik!

Hampeh jek.Cummonlah badan,gimookkk sikit pon takpe.tsk tsk tsk.

and currently i am addicted to JONAS BROTHER.

I miss the old me.

Which is the bongkak one,the garang one,the kaki pukul one,

and the player one.hahahah,ok is it?

I miss the old me which is the STRONG one.

Not fragile and suke melalak sesuka hati.

Or meratap bende2 yang tak patut.

The title of this entry is whatever due to ada aku kesah?

I think I need to care less.

Because people never care what I feel so wat the heck kan nak care apa yg dia org rasa?

I need to spoil myself.

I need to go to the 2pm concert,yess my theraphy is really expensive one.hahah.

And plus maybe I should just be a better person.

I am nowadays a very quite one huh.

A pemendam yg tidak boleh blah sekali.

I need to find the light by myself.

I guess no one can help me,

me myself have to help myself right?

and I need to melancong.

Thats a good idea.

Ok someone help me out with this thing.

I think I am in love with the same person,

Im in love with 10 years back and maybe a lot deeper.

I wish I can say,

lets end this.

And marry me.

hahahahha,that is seriously cheesy one.

Oh my my,we aren't forbidden we just meant to be.



I just want us to be like this.Fullstop.



Its calling for YOU.

They come and go but they don't know
That you are my beautiful

I try to come closer with you
But they all say we won't make it through

But I'll be there forever
You will see that it's better
All our hopes and our dreams will come true
I will not disappoint you
I'll be right there for you 'til the end
The end of time
Please be mine

I'm in and out of love with you
Trying to find if it's really true
oh no no no no
How can I prove my love
If they all think I'm not good enough

But I'll be there forever
You will see that it's better
All our hopes and our dreams will come true
I will not disappoint you
I will be right there for you 'til the end
The end of time
Please be mine

I can't stop the rain from falling
Can't stop my heart from calling you
It's calling you
I can't stop the rain from falling
Can't stop my heart from calling you
It's calling you
I can't stop the rain from falling
Can't stop my heart from calling you
It's calling you

But I'll be there forever
You will see that it's better
All our hopes and our dreams will come true
I will not disappoint you
I will be right there for you 'til the end
The end of time
Please be mine

p/s:Ok i sounds a lil bit cheesy.

ok fine i am head over heels in love.

ok fine we are like more thn 10 years.

ok fine its not like he is JANG GUEN SUK.

Thats why,he is more thatn that.

OK BEFORE EVERYONE FINALLY THROW UP,

LOVE YOU A TRILLION TIMES.

END.

Its life,get up.

*SIGH*

Big one huh.

Currently feel like don't wanna go back to LENDU.

I JUST WANNA SLEEP ON MY COMFY BED.

Heart matters some more?

Deemm,I miss you.

Demm,I got a very unpleasant news.

and once again I Feel doomed.

But I remain calm.

Eh calm ke?

But nevertheless, WHATEVER.

and maybe you will read this.

I just wanna say sorry.

Sorry for maybe get you out from my life.

I need it so that you would not hurt me anymore in any ways.

Coz seriously,please Im tired.

I don't know if you are fake or what.

But can I just dont care?

Its not like kite ada connection?

If there is pun,still sorry.

Im tired and had enuff.

I dont want to lose all my pahala just because you people always remind me of my past.

So lebih baik mcm ni.

Lagipun ikhlas tu bkn sng nak carik.

You with your life,Me?

I had a fabulous life until you blew it.

So sila ketepi.

Now its my time.

and im happy to say  that.

i knw that people like you just envy what we had before.

so,i would not be hurt nor hurting my angel by listening to

your lame story anymore.

You,and your tribes can now vanish.

with love <3.

p/s:I miss incik jantung hati.

Love.Sayang.Crush

Sorry lovey for NOT have time to update my kesayangan BLOG.

Due to what?

Macam biasalah the line in Lendu is so freaking lembap mcm kure2.tskk tskk..

But now sy dah berjaya escape ke muar my HOMETOWN!

OMG,mcm tak percaya je naik bas(ok nampak sangat susah nk independent!)hahah.

Ok I would like to share something that have been lingering inside my chaotic mind.

Idk,if some of you notice.

But nowadays I am reluctantly hang out with my guy friends.

Feel guilty,but I need time.

Because I don't like in involve in the heart matter.

So lets take a break.

There is 3 guys that technically or spiritually are close to me.

First of coz my sweetest hatelove F.L <3.

This is for sure my kesayangan.

Because he knew me a lot.

Sure we have been through a lot ups and down.

But Alhamdullilah KAMI semakin dewasa and now dah boleh gelak sama2.

If i cry he will tegas on me,

but when i mengamuk he will calm me fast.

He is the reason I smile though kami "jauh".

And unholly confession,

the only guy that i really love through the distant.

why i <3 him so freaking much ye?

Because when with him I am me.

I could even possibly completely lose myself and

he is there to help me out.He is so manja kan me.

Yeahh I am spoil brat with him.

And Idk why,tapi kan bile dgn dia mmg bende kecik pon nk refer.

lepas tu mmg sensitif je memanjang dgn dia.

Basically maybe love him all the way tuh yg mcm tu je.

tak puas hati memanjang.

sulking jek!huhuhueee.

hey PAKCIK,kite sayang awak taw!

Love him.Full stop.

(boleh berteka-teki sape dia skrg.jgn harap letak gamba,nanti sume org jeles..wellkkk!)

The second guy.tadaaa~

Hmm..Nak perasan sementara ye.

Dia kan,kawan lama saya.Tapi sy sangatlah GANAS

dgn dia.Dan mmg kami suke gado,tapi bkn lah gado yg betul2 tu.

Kalau dgn FL mmg gaduh yg mmg mcm perang ketiga.

Tapi dgn dia ni kami selalu cool je.

And I just dapat tahu yg saya ni ni FIRST LOVE dia!

OMG!!!

Sebab dia dh terlepas ckp hari tuh!!

Selepas sekian lama baru lah laa ni syaa tahu.Tsk tsk tsk.

Tapi untuk dijadikan story lagi.

I feel guilty of having you to listen about sape sy suka?

tapi awak tu senyum dan sengih je memanjang.

Tak sakit ke hati incik abang oi?

sy faham sangat your feelings yang hoping that you wish you were that guy.

JUST like me who wanted to the girl of HIS life.

Wahhh,sungguh complicated.

sape yg salah!saya lah!babo betul(babo is stupid in korean)

but nevertheless you steal a bit of my broken heart.

Sejuk hati ada org mcm awk kt life sy.

aja aja hwating,

if you love me that much,

wait huh.

though i am super annoying,suke marah je.

mcm budak2 and bla bla.

Look me with your heart thn you will find the real me.

Just what my FL did years back.

I am such a very complicated girl to handle maa.

terima kasih ye awak,you are sweet to me.

yang ketiga.

ok this is a heart talking.

i give him lagu ENCHANTED.

Sbb sangat teruja bila jumpa dia.

Muke dia sweet habis!

one more sem,then maybe tak jumpa.tsk tsk.

Hah he is my half crush kowttt.

But because of its so complicated.

I love to stalk him jauh2 je.

But bila dia dekat2 mmg kelam-kabut habis.

When he talk to me I am like,

Eh dia ckp dgn aku ke?

Ok mmg complete blush!

tapi dia terlalu hot stuff,so should I just be silent?

Indeed.

hahahhahah.

p/s:I've watching my friends having a short term relationship,

and having a bf'gf but still having a scandal,

and bla bla.

And these kind of people gradually making me suffocated.

Its like real love never exist.

Jom cari gaduh!

As usual, I am undoubtedly stuck in my dearest LENDU.(london versi MALAYSIA,Pffft!)

My mood is seriously mixed-up.Not another BETRAYAL STORY.

I hate when my FRIEND betray me.Its like,WTF kan kan?(What the fish cake.pffft!)

But that is another story which I am not confirm but seriously its getting on my nerve.

Its like "THEY' are summon my EVIL spirit to just appear back,

and maybe make their life like HELL.(Please dont!)

They wish for something I think they cannot bear themselves,

that shows their stupidity,but nevertheless I need theraphy.

I do not believe ada orang baik2 lagi.

Sangat susah nak cari,sume dah hancus,its like malas nak layan dan pegi mati!(ok mood sangat marah!)

Though I look very calm(eh tenang ke?)

Or maybe stupid just because I DO NOT LIKE TO HATE PEOPLE!

But I think its time for me to BENCI.

Yess,I can feel now how its like to BENCI,MENYAMPAH,dan rasa nak sepak

muka orang tu laju2<3.

Now its time to PANCUNG this unimportant rubbish.

Ok that was just a mukadimah.And bab kawan ni next entri mungkin?

Almaklum,line di LENDU mcm siput sedut.

I missed my bestfriends.

RARA,BELLA,TIRAH,ZATIE AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.

MR.HEARTBEATS<3

(mmg every minutes pon nak kene miss ke?!!)

Ok al-kisahnya tentang pembenci2,semua manusia pasti ada.

Sebab ada MANUSIA2 yang dengki,hati busuk,cemburu buta dan bengap.

Disebabkan I am not a kiddo lg,so I will sarcastically defend myself back.

Tapi kalau boleh,dari hati nurani ni mmg rasa nak tempeleng jek.

Haters,I know you read this.So I would like to tell you some matters and

ask you maybe..

First,remember I am not 16 or 15 years old.

Now I am 19 which I find I've grown up more than I should.Why?

Because a hater like you give a "GOOD" experience,how could I forget?

And through that I rise.

And bear in you freaking small BRAIN,that it takes time to rise.

So do not freaking annoyed me with the past story.

I moved on,so why aren't you?

Yess you said sorry,for how many times?

5 times?Or more than that?

yess sorry is a good thing to mends my heart not to hate

a manusia like you anymore.

But WTF(what the fish cake!),

if you want to continue to do some damn mistake.

Tak habis2 topik tu,trust me dear,I know better than you.

So do not act like you know everything.

And I AM seriously appreciate if you less your work,

by not telling me stuff regarded to you know who.

Because the reason for some of the things happen,is because of someone like you

is still live in this world.

So mengaku sajalah,awak tu mmg pemecahbelah kami.

Penyibuk cerita kami.

And ingat sikit dengan sorry morry awak tu,

you may can stop the heart from bleeding,

but but but... 

the scars will always remain.

so apa motif nak jolok sarang tebuan?mmg sengajalah nak carik pasal.

You know what ?I thought You change.

I really thought.

But  recently you have successfully menunjukan taring harimau awak tu!

1.Please note that you have someone that care about you,

I sometimes do not know either its stupid for he to care but love is buta kan.

2.You know this life have karma(takut kene tak tahan jek kan?)

3.Be nice to me,I already do not make a fuss,but you just trigger

the right suiz to make me remember what types of person are you.

4.Dah knp nk cemburu sangat?

5.Ikhlas ke?

And yeahh I finally have succesfully removes some not so important people in my life.

When I look back,I seriously Thankful that I am not a serial killier.

I should be like FREDDY KUGGER.kekekeke.

kalau awak tu rasa tak bahagia,

maybe sbb awk tu ada hutang dgn saya lg kot?

tulah bila sakitkan hati orang,

tak fikir.

so sy pon mmg dh lama pendam,

sy maafkanlah,tapi malas nak ambil tahu.

Sbb sy terasa nak berlagak seketika,

you never can compete me.

and for that I will prove it.

Sy dari kampung jugak,tapi janganlah tunjukkan kekampungan awak tu.

Dan kegedikkan awak yang tak boleh blah.

so maaflah ye,mmg bahasa sy kasar.

sbb kalau lembut,

orang2 mcm awak1 ni mana faham kan.

so mmg saya nak cari gaduh.

dah lama tak carik ni.

lai lai lai.

boleh jugak gune ilmu tekwando(ok slh eja!)

dan silat sendengkan.(kekekkek,mcm lah tinggi sangat level aku tu)

eleh wa ckp lu,wa tak hadap pun lah dgn lu.

wa skrg mmg mls nk lyg org mcm lu ni.

tapi wa nak lu sedar,

kalau dh minta maaf tu,

hargai sikit sebuah kemaafan.

dan for "you",mengambil kesempatan sewaktu I was

seriously fragile,I should said this may you never will find your happines.

and kalo lu nak berubah,berubah betul2 lah.

wa tengok lu,mcm nak makan je weyh.

nasib lah mmg lu bkn standard gua.Fake!

wa tarik balik,kalo lu nk find happiness,

jgn rosakkan masjid orang.

wa dh dengar banyak cerita pasal lu.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

setakat ini saja carik gaduh.

terkasar bahasa,sorry.

tersaket hati,padan muke!tapi sorry jugak.

BANGKIT.

Cerita ini benar.Boleh diibaratkan jatuh dari menara gah negara MALAYSIA.

MENARA KLCC lah.Itu pon lambat.(kekekkeke)

DILAMBUNG tsunami yang seakan sama mungkin sepupu kepada

tsunami yang melanda negara JEPUN.

Ditoreh-toreh dengan penoreh pokok-pokok getah.

Tapi tak berdarah.

Yelah luka dalam hati nampak ke?

LUKA kat luar pon belum tentu kita perasan kan kan?(cepat setuju!!!)

Dan mungkin dibakar-bakar lagi dengan gunung berapi sumatera sampai sesedap rasa.

dan kemudian jatuh kembali.dan jatuh kembali.

sampai suatu masa rasa itu seakan sebati.

Ditoreh?Dihempas?Dikerat 18?

semuanya seakan perkara rutin.

Sehingga wajah itu menjadi numb.eh betul ke ayat ni?

alah mcm kene cucuk botox tu,

muke takde perasaan.

dan makin lama mcm takde cahaya,

harapan makin malap.

dan semakin malas untuk menunggu.

dan maka dengan itu kalimah subhannalah diucap.

penderitaan itu tidak sehebat bagaimana RASULLULAH dikecam dahulu.

Maka sabar.sabar.belajar untuk sabar.dan memohon kepada Tuhan.

sabarlah melayan karenah manusia yang terkadang rasa mcm nak lahap jek dia orang hidup2.

tapi suara setan lakhnatullah itu sentiasa saja menghasut.

dan sometimes kita jatuh.

tapi ALLAH itu Maha Pengampun dan Penyayang.

KEMBALILAH.

sesungguhnya ALLAH MAHA mengetahui.

sabar sabar sabar.

BERSUJUD KEPADA DIA.

Dia sentiasa mendengar di saat yang lain mengabaikan.

kadang2 terasa bosan dengan manusia,

yang berputar-belit.kalau cemburu kalau benci.

pertumpahan darah mungkin saja berlaku.

tak larat.PENAT.Kadang-kadang terasa sepatunya

lari dari benda-benda yang hanya memenatkan kepala otak.

yang menyakitkan hati.

yang mencabar keimanan yang mungkin saja setebal kulit bawang.

tapi berhenti sebentar dan berfikir.

kita tidak sesempurna mana,dan mungkin kita jua

pernah menoreh hati sesiapa.

jadi sabar.sabar.sesungguhnya kesabaran itu sangat tinggi

ganjarannya kelak.

Bangkit.

Bangkitlah kerana tiada apa yang menggerunkan para musuh-musuh

yang kononnya hebat dengan "kemenangan" sementara mereka.

Dan apabila you RISE,itu lah perkara yang paling menjatuhkan mereka.

Orang-orang yang jatuh apabila dia bangkit,

dia sangat kuat.

Orang yang tak pernah jatuh,

sentiasa bergembira di atas,

apabila dia jatuh kelak,

mungkin hancur binasa.

dan tahukah anda?

disebalik lorong yang biasanya malap itu,di hujungnya ada cahaya.

rasa gembira itu tidak dapat dituturkan melalui kata,

apabila akhirnya kita berada di penghujung dan berkata.

"Alhamdullilah aku tidak mengalah."

Dan mungkin jugak aku harus persetankan saja suara-suara yang membuat onar.

dan kini dengan Nama Allah.

Aku harap aku akan bangkit.

berbicara dengan Tuhan.

lebih baik drai berbicara dengan seribu manusia.

mungkin sekali sejuta.

atau pun billion.

mungkin trillion.

manusia berubah.

Allah itu Esa.

SATU.

Behind the smile,there is millions story.

Aku bukan penggemar kepada kekasaran,

aku pemendam,yang bercakap sekadar menggembirakan.

Aku a loner.

yang menyimpan sejuta rahsia.

dan aku mungkin juga bukan aku yang dulu.

dan terkadang aku energetic,

sbb aku tak boleh gloomy sentiasa.(takut tua pfft!)

dan mungkin terkadang aku brutal(bila tahap kesabaran dicabar!)

dan aku amat touching(which i hate the most)

tapi aku pula terlalu pemaaf(sehingga diambil kesempatan)

dan pendendam untuk seketika.

okey aku mmg suke berblogging,

suke bercerita.

sbb maybe itu satu sifat aku yang susah untuk dipadamkan.

aku adalah akulah senang cerita.

end of the story.

Marry me,LOVE.

 

Nak kahwin nak kahwin nak kahwin.

Ok,not now of coz.maybe one fine day.

with who with who?

If I answer it,will I finally end up with my love?

If its yess,I am most please.

Though I could feel that the love is faded away due

to hentaman2,pengkhianatan2,luke2,dan darah2 yang masih mengalir.

tidak lupa jugak kepada orang2 yg menoreh2 luke itu.

3 tahun.

bukan masa yang singkat,dan utk itu kalau ditanya.

Dalam banyak2 jejaka.

Kalau boleh nak lah lee teuk ke nickhun ke eun hyuk ke donghae ke,eh mamat

korea jek aku ni.(heheheh).

omo,abg lee teuk yg hensem!

Nickhun yg super kiut <3

my sweet heart eunhyuk.

my super sparkling eyes dong hae.

kalau mmg dapat,alhamdullilah.

but.. but.. there is one person that even if he is not Lee teuk,

I really wanna marry him.

He just an ordinary lovable guy that I am comfortable to be with.

And I would really want to marry my dearest First Love.

Hey,marry me love.

This song describe my feelings toward the only guy that I ever love.

And the others I am sorry to say,

maybe sayang.

This guy taught me how to love.

Pain.Sweetness.Struggle.Fight.Bless.

We have it all.

Yup,I guess I have the potential to be ANDARTU.

HEHEHEH.

Because I am wishing for something that

some people call dare to die.

I may say,hey we are friends.

While I was suppose to say,

SARANGHAE.

And everytime i want to leave you,

You somehow knew,

and come to me.

And I have to clench my teeth,

and hold on.

Yeess other guy look good,

but for me you look even perfect sweating.

If i gotta chance to go back in time.

I give the word,

be as perfect as I could.

So until then.

This is one of my biggest wish.

Marry me,Love.

p/s:I am NOT interested to be with any guy nowadays.

Its like,please back-off.

Dont sweet talk,its freaking annoying.

and if you do like me,

how about being serious and marry me.

My answer might be yess you know.

Couple is the most tiring stupidest thing

i ever learn.

So seriously if you wanna waste your time,

pergilah couple2.

You will just added to dosa2.